Memeopolis

The 2012 resolutions that I didn't think I would bother publishing.

2012-01-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not even going to link back to the previous year's resolutions, since I hardly accomplished any of my goals. But there is something nice about one of the resolutions from last year that I secretly made, but did not announce on the blog: I wanted to get married in the year 2011. And so I did! Which is good.

This year is going to be divided almost equally between the time that we spend in Monterey, and the time that we spend elsewhere in the country, after MB graduates in June. Where he must go next. We have a pretty good about where that is, but I don't want to jinx it by announcing it on the blog yet. So these resolutions mostly apply to how I want to finish my time in Monterey:

Visit a few areas in Central California while we still live here. (YOSEMITE.)
Organize the huge closet of papers in the office. Throw out MOST of them. YEARS of cray cray saving-of documents. It's such a mess. (I need a paper shredder.)
I've got to take a few trips this Winter/Spring. Visit brother. Visit Minneapolis and Chicago. And, um Our Honeymoon! We're flying across the ocean in March.
More organization (and plastic bins) are needed for crafting/scrapbooking stuff, costume stuff, party stuff.
Get caught up on the blog. (HAHAHAHA!) Okay. Well, the thing is, I feel like rushing to plan a wedding in three months broke up my blogging and my running momentum. I'm not planning a wedding this year. So I maybe I can be better. This month, January, has been a catching-up month for me overall. But I want to be better about posting briefly each day, rather than writing HUGE posts that are several months late.
Get back to running every other day. I've been somewhat good about running in the last few months, but I definitely need to get back to the "every other day, no exceptions" schedule. Sometimes I'll go three times a week, and then there will be weeks like this last one, when the weather is cold and grey, and I feel headachey and bloated and totally uninspired.
Then there is...Secret Resolution #1.
And...Secret Resolution #2. Hopefully I will conquer both of them so I can tell you about them later.

I'm trying to avoid being too ambitious. Too much ambition almost always means that absolutely nothing will be accomplished.

So, I was going to eat this...

2012-01-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

...toasted/buttered English muffin sandwich with a medium fried egg and a couple of thin deli ham slices in the middle. I'd been thinking about the taste of yoke with mustard and cheddar cheese. But while my English muffin was toasting, inspiration struck!!!

Mom's homemade apple butter, produced from the fruit of the apple tree in her yard. There was a jar in the fridge.

(What is it with men and how they get to open things easily? I'm sure I loosened up that jar, because when I gave it to MB after several minutes of frustration, he practically snapped the lid off. Shenanigans, I say!)

Anyway, I slathered the apple butter on the side of the English muffin with the ham. It was so tasty.

Apple butter, y'all. For serial.

Yes, that's all this post is about.

The Oscar nominations are out...

2012-01-24T15:33:00.000-08:00

And it's not that I want to be a film curmudgeon. But so many of these nominations are just...shitty. Hm. Well, let's get to it, anyway! Here are my thoughts on the nominees in each of the major categories, below.

Best Picture

The Artist

I intended to see this film last weekend, but slacked off. I'll see it in the next couple of days. Honestly, the "silent" thing was somewhat of a deterrent. I was confused about whether the film has a music score, because of stories of people going to see the movie and getting all pissed off because it's a silent film. I've watched silent movies before - films from the silent era, that is. I sat through all three and a half hours of DW Griffith's Intolerance (1917). The iconic "baby carriage rolling down the stairs" pop culture reference? That comes from the 1926 Russian propaganda film Battleship Potemkin, I watched the whole thing, and believe me, it's BORING. (Except for the Odessa Staircase sequence, which climaxes with said rolling baby carriage.) (Having to watch these films via VHS cassette tapes and small television screens probably detracted from the experience.) But it would have been impossible (ok, challenging) to watch either (or any silent films) without the accompanying music score. (Which is a nod to the fact that most silent films were accompanied by pianists or organists in the theaters.) Anyway, I finally Googled this question, and there IS a music score, so now I can go see the movie.

POV: Male, with some Female (From what I can tell, Bérénice Bejo has a very strong presence in this film. But she's nominated in the supporting actress category. I will know better, once I've seen the film.)

The Descendants

Whenever the very first previews for a film air on TV with quotes about how the film is Oscar bait and how the lead actor "gives the finest performance of his career," I am immediately suspicious that the entire production is 'constructed' specifically to be Academy Award fodder. As opposed to being the inspiration of a group of artists that happens to resonate with audiences and critics alike. Or, maybe the film didn't start out like that, but apparently the Academy has been yearning deeply to drape laurels over the careers of Alexander Payne and George Clooney. I saw The Descendants because I wanted to see a film on a weekend night, I didn't want to go alone, and MB could only be persuaded from the list of choices, by George Clooney. So we saw it. And it's okay. It's an OKAY film. It not an Oscar film. Payne also directed Election, which is a smart film, About Schmidt, which is a pretty good film, and Sideways, which is a terrific film. All three of those films are better than The Descendants. It's like everyone was all "OOOH, Payne is coming out with another film, I bet it's gonna be a GOOD one!!!" Then they line up to heap praise on it, regardless of the actual quality of the film. (The Coen Brothers are treated the same way, but the films they produce are actually worthy of all the praise.)

My biggest problem with The Descendants is that George Clooney is not that great in it. Throughout the film, which is set in Hawaii, I was distracted by the fact that "George Clooney is acting." His performance is overly self-conscious in its gravitas. They should have given him the script one page at a time when they were filming, so maybe he would have had a chance to BE a character who responds to stuff, instead of trying to inhabit a stranger to whom All This Serious Stuff happens. And then there is the story itself. There is supposed to be this big debate about what to do with this valuable inherited land in Kauai, and Clooney's character reflects about how his family's ownership of the land is undeserved, not just because it's inherited but because his family are barely "real Hawaiians." But there's little development on this point. You hesitate to sell the land to a company who wants to build a resort, so why are you not bequeathing it to the state of Hawaii for the purpose of preservation? Is that such a murky option to consider? It occurred to me immediately, yet real estate lawyer Clooney doesn't mention that option once. The real estate issue takes place in the background of the main story, however, which is the approaching death of Clooney's wife. She is on life support in the hospital following a water-sports accident (her life support will be turned off, as directed by her DNR instructions) - and Clooney subsequently discovers that she'd been cheating on him. (Guess which thing upsets Clooney more?)

What was unsatisfactory, additionally, was that the elements of the story - saying goodbye to the mother, deciding what to do about the land, and contemplating Hawaiian ancestry - failed to weave together metaphorically. Neither the characters nor the audience experience any kind of transcendence, however much Payne wanted his "land decision scene" to illustrate that. In Sideways, there's a masterful dialogue between Miles and Maya, about his love of Pinot Noir and the things she thinks about when she's drinking wine - that sums up the entire metaphorical and beautifully artful meaning of the film. There's no scene in The Descendants that even aspires to that level of deftness.

I am going to be very irritated if this film receives the Best Picture award.

POV: Male

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

I haven't seen this film yet. I hadn't planned to see the film, because the previews reek of schmaltz. Contrived schmaltz.

Oh wait, you say it's about a child whose father died in the 9/11 terrorist attack? I bet that means that it's an Important Film and a Good Film. (Puke.) Right, so two more thoughts:

1. Art that focuses on the 9/11 terrorist attack is not inherently schmaltzy.
2. But there is a difference between meaningful use, and capitalizing on a national horror. If you want to kill a character in a film in order to make the film "sad" and give the characters motivation to seek "meaning," and you want to use the 9/11 terrorist attack, then you need to make specific use of the 9/11 terrorist attack relevant.

I haven't made up my mind about whether to see the film before I root against it for Best Picture; it hasn't received many glowing reviews by critics I admire, so I'm honestly quite surprised it received the nomination. To me, this is evidence that the nomination field is too wide. Increasing the number of films seems merely to result in adding shitty films to the mix, as opposed to recognizing a larger number of excellent films. The same ignored films continue be ignored, in other words.

POV: Male

The Help

I didn't watch this film - or read the novel - because in general I would prefer to experience and support (with my money) stories in which Black Americans devise their own methods of overcoming barriers to racial equality, since that is how it has been happening in real life and all (consider me a fool for history).

However...I heard an interview on NPR with one of the film's actors, Octavia Spencer, and she had a lot of thoughtful things to say about the above criticism, which made me reconsider never watching the film. So. I will watch the film. When it comes to Oscars, at this point I feel more inclined to root for the actors than the film overall.

POV: Female

Hugo

I didn't see this film because I was disappointed that yet another "kid's" movie out this year that focuses on a male POV. (Yes, I know that some of these movies are the result of adapted works that originally feature male POV characters.) More on that later. But (1) it's Scorsese, (2) and I love listening to Scorsese talk about old films that he loves on TCM and (3) Hugo pays homage to early film history, (4) which I was forced to experience in a couple of film classes in college, (5) so when I watch it I can be an insufferable know-it-all because the references in Hugo will have a deeper meaning for me. Plus, (6) I've heard that it looks pretty. So now I want to see this film before the Oscars.

POV: Male

Midnight in Paris

I'm happy to be able to remark on another film in this category which I have seen, if only to say that this film shouldn't be in this category. I'm quite surprised. Midnight in Paris is two films. One of them takes place in Owen Wilson's "midnight," and the other takes place during the day, with his character's awful fiancee (played by Rachel McAdams) and her awful parents. The former is a clever, funny, and charming tribute to romantic francophiles. Woody Allen at his best. But the latter is lazy and sort of insulting. If Allen wanted to make the fiancee and her parents into one-dimensional baddies (as he did), then he should have taken the depiction farther into the world of parody, so their portrayal could have resulted in a satirical commentary about...oh, say, the entitlement of rich Americans (for example). Instead, they just come off as rotten, annoying people who serve no better purpose than to justify Wilson's actions.

POV: Male

Moneyball

MB and I just watched this the other night. I thought it would be a creative and interesting way to give human meaning to the world of cold, hard statistics. And MB loves baseball. But at the end, we agreed that it was a total snooze-fest. None of the characters displayed any charisma (with the exception of the actor who plays Pitt's daughter, but she only appears in a couple of brief scenes). Phillip Seymour Hoffman is even in this movie, and he's boring as hell. That's right, Moneyball wasted the talents of Phillip Seymour Hoffman. There is nothing transcendent about the message in this film that couldn't have been accomplished in an article in Time magazine.

'But what is the message of the movie,' you might be wondering? I'll tell you: "Examining a different set of statistics, when determining which ball players to hire, than teams traditionally examine, might sort of help sometimes."

That kind of illumination is not Best Picture-worthy.

POV: Male

The Tree of Life

This film somehow managed to come and go without popping up on my radar, so I haven't seen it yet. Based on the description of the film, I am interested in watching it before I form an opinion.

POV: Male (There are females in the movie, but I drew this conclusion based on the description - correct me if I'm wrong. When I say POV, I mean the main character, not "existence of other characters.")

War Horse

I haven't seen this film yet, because movies about horses don't instantly pique my interest. (Sure, eventually I got around to seeing Seabiscuit and Secretariat, but neither of them blew me away with their genius.) Anyway, War Horse was directed by Steven Spielberg, so my suspicion, based on that, and the previews, is that the theme/message will be heavy-handed, nostalgic and blandly uncontroversial.

Oh, and that I will be forced to like it and possibly cry during it, against my will.

POV: Male

Best Picture Summation -

Who I think should win: Argh. I'm going to see The Artist and pray that it's deserving of the award. That, or Hugo, perhaps.
Best Picture category POV: 8 male, 1 female (pathetic)

Actor In a Leading Role

Demián Bichir - A Better Life - Before today, I had never heard of this film, or this actor. After reading the description, I do like that the Academy is recognizing a Latino actor in a film that focuses on a Hispanic community.
George Clooney - The Descendants - Here is a list of films in which Clooney displayed superior acting than he displayed in The Descendants: Three Kings, Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?, Ocean's Eleven, Intolerable Cruelty, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana, MICHAEL CLAYTON, BURN AFTER READING, Up In The Air... For the love of all that is holy, please Academy, do NOT give him an Oscar for The Descendants!!! He's a hugely popular DUDE ACTOR. You will have TONS of opportunities to adorn his work with Oscars in the future. It doesn't have to be this year.
Jean Dujardin - The Artist - Reserving opinion.
Gary Oldman - Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Everybody was crazy about this film for about a week, but I haven't heard anything since. I think I'd like to see it before the ceremony. I like le Carré and I like Oldman. (But what is with film titles this year? Martha Marcy May Marlene Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy Huh?)
Brad Pitt - Moneyball - No.

Actress In a Leading Role

Glenn Close - Albert Nobbs - I admit that the film didn't interest me very much. I will probably wait to watch it on IFC or HBO. Close is an amazing actress and she's never won an Academy Award.
Viola Davis - The Help - Like I said, I haven't seen The Help yet, but Davis was excellent in Doubt a few years ago (though she didn't have many scenes).
Rooney Mara - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - I've been reticent lately, toward supporting (with money) films and literature in which the drama hinges on, or finds necessary to include, rape and murder of women. So I haven't seen it yet, and I'm reserving my opinion on this one.
Meryl Streep - The Iron Lady - Ugh, why do all the films in the Actress category seem so damned boring?! Honestly, they just didn't inspire me this year. Meryl Streep is excellent; I'm sure she's excellent in this film. I just wasn't that interested in a film about Margaret Thatcher (who, to my knowledge, is not a Corgi enthusiast). Plus, there is a trickiness to feeling all "rah rah Feminism" about a conservative politician. BUT - and this is a big BUT - I was a slacker (again) and failed to notice until recently that this film was directed by a woman, Phyllida Lloyd, and written by a woman, Abi Morgan. So now I'm thinking that I should see this movie after all. I like supporting films that give women jobs, and perhaps their input adds dimension to the Feminist aspect.
Michelle Williams - My Week With Marilyn - I didn't see it. Here's why: how about a film told from MARILYN'S perspective, for goodness' sake? This woman is the embodiment the Icon Murdered by Their Own Celebrity, and we're going to celebrate a film about yet another person's fascination with The Specter of Marilyn Monroe? That seems kind of fucked up to me. I'm not saying that I think it is a bad film - I don't know. Maybe it's great. It's just not the Marilyn film that I want to see/support.

Actress In a Supporting Role

Bérénice Bejo - The Artist - Reserving opinion.
Jessica Chastain - The Help - Reserving opinion.
Melissa McCarthy - Bridesmaids - McCarthy was terrific in Bridesmaids, and Bridesmaids was a terrific film. If she won, I think it would deserved (as opposed to winning for Mike & Molly when the Emmy's were actually just thrilled about Bridesmaids).
Janet McTeer - Albert Nobbs - Reserving opinion.
Octavia Spencer - The Help - Reserving opinion.

Actor in a Supporting Role

Kenneth Branagh - My Week With Marilyn - I will admit that Branagh as a haughty Lawrence Olivier has tempted me to check out My Week With Marilyn.
Jonah Hill - Moneyball - No. Here's a film in which Jonah Hill gave a superior performance: Superbad. Give him the Oscar for THAT.
Nick Nolte - Warrior - Ha, MMA must be gaining some cultural relevance if people are making films about it! MB watched this the other day while I was sitting in the room with him, otherwise occupied. He thought the film was just 'okay.' Despite mostly ignoring the film, I do remember Nolte's character doing and saying things, so maybe his performance impressed the Academy?
Christopher Plummer - Beginners - I haven't seen it yet, but I want to. I'd give him the Oscar for The Sound of Music, every year.
Max von Sydow - Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close - Huh. This seems like a nostalgia nod. He's been nominated for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor a few times, but has never won. Maybe the Academy wants to rectify that.

Animated Feature Film

A Cat in Paris
Chico & Rita
Kung Fu Panda 2
Puss in Boots
Rango

This category is not exciting at all. I don't care who wins. Although, thanks to A Cat in Paris and Chico & Rita, the POV in this category is closer to being equally representative of gender than the nominations for Animated Film at the Golden Globes, all of which were told from a Male POV (Adventures of TinTin, Arther Christmas, Cars 2, Puss in Boots, and Rango). So that's good.

The rest of the major categories are presented with little commentary, since they are mostly a boring repetition of the above categories:

Directing

The Artist
The Descendants - Ugh, no.
Hugo
Midnight in Paris - No, no, no.
The Tree of Life

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

The Descendants - sigh, No
Hugo
The Ides of March
Moneyball - No
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Writing (Original Screenplay)

The Artist
Bridesmaids - Please, this one! Don't just give an Oscar to McCarthy and call it a day.
Margin Call - Huh? There is an Oscar nod for this, but not Young Adult?!
Midnight in Paris
A Separation - I haven't seen this one yet, but I want to.

***

And that's all for now! Anyone agree or disagree with any of my thoughts? Who do you think should win?! Soon I hope to write a short post (HAHAHA - short!) about films that I felt should have been recognized as well/instead. Oh, and maybe you should drop by and have an Oscar party with me on February 26th! (Yep. It's a date.)

contentment is boring

2012-01-22T23:30:00.000-08:00

In lieu of a post topic, here is a recitation of the day's events:

Light, warm rain today. Drove north. I picked up some picture frames for displaying wedding pictures, and may possibly have found a couple pairs of jeans, I mean, who knows? Drove down to Moss Landing to meet Liz, Francois, Helena, Jen, James, Effie, Enrique, Etrechia, and Petru for dinner at Phil's Fish Market. (The French Fried Artichoke Hearts with mayonnaise and Italian dipping sauce? So yummy.) This was Etrechia and Petru's last dinner out in the US; they fly back to South Africa tomorrow. Well, first they fly to NYC, and then straight from NYC to Johannesburg. (Good grief, that has to be a long flight. People on flights like that form communities and elect leaders.)

But the best part about the dinner was getting to hang out with Helena.

< That's her. (Heehee!)

Francois (who was toting a sleeping Helena in her Moby wrap when I arrived) and Liz both looked so happy with their baby, too. Their admiring expressions together with Helena's chubby cheeks and occasional smiles were turning my uterus into a sopping pile of mush.

When I arrived back home, MB, Jon and Amy were watching the final minutes of the Giants-49ers game, which was in overtime. It would have been fun to watch football today, but I hadn't wanted to put off my errands any longer (or miss the Fish Market dinner). The only thing about today that didn't go quite right was Giants' win. I was rooting for San Francisco. (The Giants' win is more expected; SF is a come-back story.) (Plus, the SF-region is my hood at the moment. Home Team Loyalty, yo.) Participated in some fun, goofy chatter with Amy and Jon for a little while after the game ended, until they left.

Then nestled on the couch for "Once Upon A Time" and "Downton Abbey" and "Masterpiece Mystery." Big glass of red wine. The rain has picked up tonight. I can hear the rain over the sound of the fire crackling in the fireplace. (Rain and crackling fires may be the stuff of shitty screenplays, but I am describing Real Life, Blogosphere! I feel simultaneously ironic and content about that.) It's a warm rain, too. The kind that makes you want to run out into the night for a mini-adventure. (Going where? To freedom? To feeling alive?) The kind that makes you write romantic sentences in your blog.

And that's today. I'm going to go to bed now. MB will be there, sleeping. This isn't code for any scandalous confession. I just wonder if I'm the only one who ever thinks "Yay! When I go to bed [my SO] will be there sleeping! It will be nice to lay in bed next to [him] [and read my Twitter feed while I fall asleep]! Yippee!"

***

Here's more baby for the road:

People Say Shit

2012-01-17T19:53:00.000-08:00

Other than blogging about the "Shit Girls Say" videos a few weeks ago, I've mostly been ignoring the consequential explosion of 'Shit People Say' videos. The trend has reached eye-rolling proportions for some. But after discussing whether I felt any reservations about laughing at the Shit Girls Say video, it's fitting that I share "Shit People Say to Feminists":

While it feels good to commiserate on the Internet with Feminists who don't know me personally, it's impossible for a video to succinctly demonstrate everyday frustrations the Feminists experience in conversations about equality, sexism, misogyny, etc. Point being, that because you are coming from a Feminist POV, everything you say about everything is automatically wrong. You are attacked for being alarmist and hysterically-"PC." You are criticized for being petty and concerned about small things that don't matter to anyone. You are scoffed at by people with enough educational and economic privilege in their lives to shield them from experiencing overt inequality, while subtle forms of inequality are justified as natural.

But every now and then, I am treated to the kind of argument about inequality in which my opponent displays such overt contempt for the autonomy and respect of women, that it almost makes up for all the forehead-bangingly frustrating conversations about institutional sexism that I normally experience. The other night, for example! At a gathering of friends and acquaintances. (The crowd consisted of military officers and their spouses. It will be important for you to know this, later.) Here's a synopsis of the conversation:

Man #1: It's so funny how you're always posting these stories about Feminist stuff of Facebook.

(Come on! It was AWESOME that he said that! I was like "Can I just check the calendar on my iPhone for one sec, because you're making me think that today's my birthday.")

(Yes, Blogosphere, I'm insufferable on FACEBOOK, too!)

Amanda: I post a lot of stuff. Which articles do you mean? (*crosses fingers*)
Man #1: Like, that stuff about how there's more men than women in movies.
Amanda: You don't think that's unfair?
Man #1: I just don't think it's that big of a deal, and that there's probably a reason for it.

(Amanda's Note: There is a reason. It's institutional sexism.)

Man #2 (this guy is a peach, just wait): Well, if there was a MARKET for stuff with women in it, then they would make more movies that have women in them!!!!
Amanda: [Rant about every few years when a Lady Film does well, everyone is shocked, and how when the vast majority of decision-makers in the film industry are men, how can he say that there is not a market for Lady Films?]

It's kind of amazing how swiftly the topic of women's equality in any conversation is pared down to the ugly reality that (and I'm sorry to be the one to have to break this you, Blogosphere, but...) Women Have Vaginas and Uteruses. This happens so swiftly, that on this particularly night, I can't even recall how we got from "women don't get as many movie roles" to "maternity leave is an evil devil conspiracy," but SOMEHOW! We made it happen!

Man #2: I read this book by this man who says that he can't have his business in the US anymore because he refuses to hire women - because you can't legally fire them for three years after maternity leave.

(I tried to check on the veracity of this statement, but different states have different laws about maternity leave, and I was too lazy to examine all 50. Anyone know anything about this?)

Amanda: That guy sounds like a bigot.

(His tone, during the description of this book, was so funny, too! Like I was going to respond reverently to some intolerant tome written by a random Unnamed Dude - as if it were the ultimate take-down about the destruction of maternity leave to honest American businesses, by virtue of this fellow "writing A Whole Book About It," and of course "Being A Dude.")

Man #2: I don't believe that the government should force any businesses to provide paid maternity leave, and it's ridiculous that just because a woman has a baby, you're not allowed to fire her.
Amanda: Well, there are very few businesses in the US that provide PAID maternity leave; most women have to use their Sick Days and their vacation days for part of their leave, and the official "maternity" segment is unpaid.
Man #2: Well, if someone is doing a bad job, you should be able to fire them. In fact, I don't believe that businesses should offer maternity leave AT ALL.

Oh, Blogosphere. When he said this. Goodness. How can you blame me?! I am Woman! And like my Great-Great-Great x Infinity Grandmother Eve, I am uterusically incapable, thanks to my naturally morally inferior vagina, of resisting plucking that forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge.

Amanda: So...are you Pro-Choice or Pro-Life?

(Doesn't anyone else think about how it's blatantly and painfully symbolic that Eve was just the worst ever for wanting to seek Knowledge?! Hello Giant Christianity vs. Science Metaphor!)

Man #2: [Rant about how pro-choicers are evil baby-murderers, duh. You know the drill, regardless of your position on the matter.]
Amanda: So, businesses should be able to fire women for getting pregnant and women should be forced to be pregnant and go into labor with a baby that they do not want?
Man #2: Well, if women don't want to get pregnant...

(OMG! He ACTUALLY said this next thing, LOLZ!)

Man #2: ...then they should just KEEP THEIR LEGS SHUT.
Amanda: So women should be punished for having sex? What about men? They're also having sex.
Man #2: They get punished, for the 18 years they have to pay for that kid.

It is remarkable to me that this '18-years thing' is supposedly equal to the the 9 months of pregnancy and the painful/dangerous labor that a woman must experience, as if the woman doesn't also have to spend 18 years paying for the child and doing the hands-on work of raising them.

Then, you know, we said the other usual things. Overview:

Man #2: [Killing innocent babies, blah blah blah.] (I would honestly record the quotes, but it was a Saturday night and I didn't have stenographer on hand.)
Amanda: Whenever anti-choicers want to talk about how 'sluts should just keep their legs shut,' they always accompany it with photos of 8-month fetuses, when in reality most abortions occur in the first trimester. Pregnant women in their third trimester do NOT randomly go skipping into an abortion clinic for funsies!
Man #1: *hollers with laughter* Sluts should keep their legs shut! Haahahaha!

Oh, and just to make sure I'm representing Man #2 faithfully, FYI, he's a self-proclaimed "Christian." Who doesn't believe that his tax dollars should go toward supporting the illegitimate children of sluts who couldn't keep their legs closed. No, seriously.

Amanda: So, we should be able to fire women who want maternity leave, and women should be forced to be pregnant and give birth to babies, and none of your tax dollars should be used to support these jobless, forced-baby-having ho-bags?!
Man #2: Right.

Just like Jesus said in the Bible!

I would have felt pissed, if I wasn't so amused by how stereotypical it all was. I kept getting images of Man #2 as a Conservo-Bot being created in an super-secret Fox News Laboratory.
......

Then Man #1 launched into a diatribe about how thanks to the Unions, schools couldn't fire Bad Teachers. Man #2 joined him, but I'd had my fill for arguing that night, so instead I asked my husband what he thought of public school teachers, so he could stand there volleying obnoxious comments instead. (Knowing that my husband has great respect for public school teachers in general.)

Fun Fact about Military Officers: You can't fire them, either! Not unless they do something criminal. (Blah blah blah exceptions, but seriously, it is not easy to separate an officer.)

Another Fun Fact about Military Officers: They get PAID maternity leave. As they should! (All Americans should get paid maternity leave.)

Samantha's Sticky & Sweet Bachelorette Party!

2012-01-17T03:47:00.000-08:00

Look, I know you're busy, Blogosphere. Up in this post? We've got some major exposition happening. If you absolutely do not care about reading about all the random things, large and small, that Fate conspired to throw in my pathway toward pulling off The Most Awesome Bachelorette Ev-ar, just scroll down until you see the words "The Party Finally Got Underway" in giant font, and start there.

***

It has been established on this blog that my friend Samantha, is a Madonna fan. Yes, I believe I've mentioned it a time or two. So when it came time to plan the theme for her bachelorette party - and we realized we couldn't have the party on Halloween weekend, and thus (Desiree's sweet idea) "Zombie Brides" was out - I thought: MADONNA! (It was a coincidence that later on Liz requested an 80s-themed baby party, making October a very "80s" month overall.) Samantha went along with the plan, and I made a Madonna soundtrack in iTunes.

I flew out to Minneapolis on Friday, October 14th, and spent the evening at Samantha's home, in Blaine. In preparation for the party, Samantha had scheduled hair and makeup appointments for the next morning, the morning of the party, October 15th, at Salon Avē, in Shoreview. Since I would be with her that morning, I scheduled a haircut/style at the salon too! My hair had needed a (good) trim for such a long time (there was a huge disappointment at some point before, involving a crappy Monterey salon), so I asked the stylist to forget the usual conservative inch or half-inch. "Just take off as much as you need in order to get all the split and dry ends." She also gave my hair layers, and then made my wavy hair all pretty and slick and straight.

In the meantime, Samantha was getting...80s Hair! And 80s Makeup! How fun, right? Her stylist had fun doing the hair and makeup, as well. When I had finished, I pulled up a stool near them to watch the progress. And I took out some paper and wrote down all the Samantha/Madonna Trivia questions I intended to ask the party guests later that evening.

When we left Salon Avē, we drove to Dinkytown on the U of M campus. It was time for our second spa visit of the day! This part had been a surprise for Samantha until a week or so before the party. I'd always intended to include some kind of day-time activity before her bachelorette party, for guests who perhaps couldn't go out that night, and to add to the fun of the entire day. So I made appointments for her and I to get spa manicures and spa pedicures at The Refinery. Other guests who were interested signed up for appointments in the same block of time; we had the nail party room reserved. Then Samantha's sister Nicole (or was it sister Lindsey?) spilled the beans, to Samantha, but not until she's made her appointment at Salon Avē.

Anyway, they kept us at Salon Avē a little longer than desired, so we were rushing as we drove from Shoreview to Dinkytown. When we arrived, I ran into the foyer of The Refinery to check us in, while Samantha left to park the car.

When Samantha joined me in the salon, she sat down next to me in another comfy pedicure chair and we slid our feet into the warm, soapy water trays stationed below. We spent an hour and a half as best friends preparing for one of our weddings, talking and laughing with each other and with the aestheticians, and receiving soothing foot massages and sloughings. It was so special and nice that we got to spend this lovely, intimate time together before her bachelorette party, bonding in conversation and getting excited about the night's activities!

*record scratch*

Oh wait, except that didn't happen! Let me edit that a bit:

When Samantha joined me in the salon, she sat down next to me in another comfy pedicure chair and we slid our feet into the warm, soapy water trays stationed below. We spent an hour and a half as best friends preparing for one our weddings talking and laughing with each other and with the aestheticians, and receiving soothing foot massages and sloughings. It was so special and nice that we got to spent this lovely, intimate time together before her bachelorette party, bonding and getting excited about the night's activities! parked and ran through the parking lot toward the salon, she made a very unfortunate tumble, courtesy of one of the parking lot crevices. She bounced off of two cars, and scraped the shit out of her hands and knees. I know you're thinking that this is a clumsy move, but you haven't seen this parking lot. It's The Shittiest Parking Lot in the tri-state area. It was installed sometime around 1873 and zero improvements have been made since. It's dangerous to walk calmly through that parking lot, much less to run, any which way, through it.

So I'm sitting in my pedi chair, waiting for Samantha and feeling excited and happy, when I am summoned upstairs. I find Samantha in the bathroom, sobbing, her hands and knees bloodied up. NOW maybe you're thinking that these are just scrapes and 'WHT is Samantha a huge crybaby, or what?!' And if you are, then you are not Samantha's friend on Facebook and have not been treated to photos of the carnage. Besides that, there was the stress of thinking we were late, that she needed to run, and then the instant ruination of perhaps the entire day and night and party in her honor. I would have bawled, too, with less of an injury. One time in Venice, a pigeon pooped on my very first Venetian gelato, and I totally cried over that, no blood spilled or anything. (Fuckin' pigeon! Totally ruined My Very First Venetian Gelato!)

Anyway, I gave her some hugs and tissues and then cleaned up her knees with water and paper towels. The salon had given me bandages and ointment, so I applied them to the knee-scrapes. I cleaned her hands as well as one possibly can with water/paper towels/ointment. One of her hands had a surface scrape, and that hand received a bandage as well. But the other hand had a scary, deep scrape that looked as if it contained parts of the parking lot. (She discovered later that this was indeed correct.) We tried holding her hand under water, but the particles couldn't be removed, and I didn't have the tools and skills to dig into her hand to get them out. AND she discovered later, neither did the healthcare professionals at Urgent Care in Roseville - she had to have a lil' operation to get out all the parking lot a few weeks later.

We returned to the nail party room, and there was some discussion about what needed to happen. Samantha would have to skip receiving any kind of manicure. We were afraid her hand might get infected, so she would have to skip the spa pedi as well, in order to go to a clinic. The hope was that she could get back in time to see some of the guests, and maybe get some kind of service. Lindsey's basic manicure was almost finished, so she decided to drive Samantha, while Nicole and I stayed behind. Other guests would be arriving soon.

So instead of getting some nice, relaxing pedis and feeling happy and excited with Samantha, I received my pedicure in conversation with none of my friends, worrying about Samantha, hoping that she could get in and out in a timely matter, missing Samantha, and feeling guilty that she parked alone and then thought she had to run to catch up. (Thoughts like these: Why hadn't I just gone with her? It wouldn't have been a big deal at all. I don't know why we treated being late like it would be the end of the world. Maybe if I hadn't acted so rushed, then she wouldn't have been influenced to act like that, either!) THEN I remembered that I left all of the party decor/supplies/favors in the trunk of Samantha's car, while Samantha left for the clinic, with her car keys, and I was treated to the joy of worrying about that, additionally. A lot. Logistically, it was a problem: I'd been planning to leave the spa early with Desiree, in order to set up the party in the hotel room. If Samantha wasn't back in time, it would push the entire schedule of the party back.

Color for toenails: "Aruba Blue" (Bright freakin' blue!) (Heh, continued to grow it off my toenails until approximately five days ago.) Anyway:

*worryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworryworry*

I did pause from all the worrying to marvel at the freakiness of my paraffin wax treatment. (First Very First Paraffin Wax! I like how a pigeon didn't poop on it.)

Color for nails: "Bachelorette Bash" (a version of hot pink) Um, of course. Also, the aesthetician was all "You girls with all your color! Most people pick earth tones and pale pinks." I responded by laughing and telling her that "I hate tasteful nail colors!"

While I completed my pedi and mani and worried and worried, guests started to arrive! First Lynn, Maija, Heather, and Laura. Poor Laura could only attend the spa portion of the day, so she didn't get to see Samantha at all. As people arrived, they got to hear the Samantha Story for the day, with the addendum, that when Samantha returned, she would need some extra special hugs and TLC! Nicole left to go get food and drinks for the par-tay. Desiree arrived, and we talked with Lindsey on the phone and made plans. Dez would drive me to Roseville so we could get Samantha's car key. Then Dez would drop me back off in Dinkytown, and we would drive to the hotel downtown, me taking Samantha's car. Unwieldy, but necessary.

So we did all this, and then headed to the hotel. In the meantime, Samantha returned, decked out with mad bandages, yo.

She got to hang out with some of the guests, and was even able to get a basic pedicure. (I was so happy to hear that she at least got to do that.)

Gals at The Refinery: Maija, Samantha, Katie, Lynn and Heather

Our activities at the hotel:

First... there were shenanigans with finding a way to get into the parking lot via all the downtown one-way streets. Then the hotel had given us the smaller version of their suite, with the small livingroom sans fireplace. This was opposite from what I had been told I had reserved - the suite with the large livingroom and with the fireplace. The concierge deducted money from the room price and gave me parking for free, as recompense. There were no other suites to be had in the hotel. I decided that we would use the large bedroom for the party area instead. It worked out fine. I decorated swiftly, breathlessly. Tape, scissors, streamers flying everywhere. Dez hung pictures and balloons. Guests who were arriving helped out. Carrie Ann helped Dez. Katy came in and helped us create the Panty Game display. Dez had the clever idea to make the display out of curtains. Nicole arrived and set up the food and made some alcoholic punch she referred to as Pink Panty Dropper Punch. It was nums! Lindsey arrived and assisted with food and decor. And when almost everything was done, and almost all the guests had arrived, except for Samantha and three others, I realized that I couldn't find the keys to Samantha's car.

And let me tell you, regarding that last thing: I did not handle it well. When Samantha was scraped up and crying through her 80s makeup and had to go to the clinic, I calmly told her that everything would be fine and we would get the party back on track. When we had to drive to Roseville and back to the U before getting to the hotel, putting us an hour behind schedule, I forced myself to be calm and just get everything done as quickly and well as I could. When they didn't give us our correct suite, I was DETERMINED to brush it off. But when Samantha's keys were lost in all the rabble of food containers, decor and supplies containers - drawers, sofa cushions, trash? we didn't know!!! - I almost fell off the deep end. Darin wasn't in town, so we didn't have access to the spare key, but the main thing was this: Samantha's 80's-Madonna outfit, for which she spent a considerable amount of time researching and ordering on the Internet, was locked in the car. I didn't want to disappoint her, or ruin her party more than it had already been ruined by that blasted parking lot. I was turning large, green and muscley with rage and frustration.

Enlisted nearly everyone to help. We went through *everything.* No keys. Decided to walk downstairs to ask it they'd been turned in, or to see if I'd dropped them. Nope and nope. When we made it outside, Samantha was on her way in, with Maija and Lynn. I felt sick with anxiety, but I had to tell her about the keys. When I did, even with the caveat of the locked-in 80s outfit, Samantha responded surprisingly well! I guess she had already just felt so upset that day, that nothing else was going to bring her down. It was such a relief that she wasn't mad, but at the same time I still felt bad. We returned to the room to search some more, and then something wonderful happened...

Well, duh, we found the keys. Specifically, hot off her Panty Game Display brain-wave, Desiree found the keys. They had fallen into the gift bag that I had assembled for my bachelorette gift to Samantha. Literally the only location I hadn't looked through. Good lord, I was so relieved, I cried. (For a much better reason that being "blessed" by a Venetian pigeon.) *Sigh* And with that...

The Party Finally Got Underway!

Passed around the favor bags! Above, Lynn holds one of the favor bags. I decorated them, and yes, they were from the pile of favor bags left over from my wedding. Each bag displayed the name of a different song by Madonna.

Half the favor bags held fake pearl necklaces multi-colored jelly bracelets. ("Like A Virgin" Madonna is totally pearls and lace.) The other half contained the jelly bracelets and shutter shades.

Bedecked in accessories, the ladies went around the room and introduced themselves.

And then it was time for games! Trivia, first. (I'll put the answers in the comments for people who know Samantha - or Madonna - and who want to play along with this post, then check their answers!)

Samantha Trivia

1. Where did Samantha and Darin meet?
2. What is Samantha's middle name?
3. Which does Darin love more, hunting or fishing? (Heehee, this question caused a big debate, and eventually a call was placed to Darin.)
4. What instrument did Samantha play in the U of M marching band?
5. What classic television show features characters with names similar to the bride and groom?
6. How many strippers did Darin have at his bachelor party?
7. Which couples activity did Samantha and Darin participate in when they were first dating?
8. What was Samantha's first job out of college?
9. What is the name of Samantha's basset hound?
10. For which organization has Samantha walked literally hundreds of miles?
11. How many siblings does Darin have?
12. What is Samantha's sign? (I opted for this question in place of the original "Are Samantha and Darin astrologically compatible?")
13. What was Samantha's major in college?
14. Where are Samantha and Darin getting married?
15. How did Darin propose?

Samantha Trivia Winner: Lindsey!

Samantha, with the Panty Game display.

Madonna Trivia

1. Name Madonna's husbands.
2. For which Austin Powers movie did Madonna record the song "Beautiful Stranger?"
3. At the 2002 MTV Video Awards, Madonna French-kissed both Britney Spears and ________________.
4. Which album is considered to be Madonna's best, critically speaking?
5. Who designed Madonna's cone bra?
6. What are the names of Madonna's natural-born children?
7. What is the name of Madonna's 1992 book?
8. Which Madonna video features Madonna making out with Jesus?
9. Who was Madonna dating when she filmed the documentary Truth or Dare?
10. Name a film in which Madonna has acted. (Simplified this from the originally required four films, haha.)

Madonna Trivia Winner: Katie! (Who was revealed to be a secret-Madonna-fan in indie-lover's clothing!)

Rejected* Madonna Trivia Questions:
- What is Madonna last name?
- Which state is Madonna from?
- Which 1971 Don McLean song has been covered by Madonna?
- What is the name of the father of Madonna's first child?
- What is the name of the record label created by Madonna?
- Name one of the children's book written by Madonna.
- Which career led to Madonna's singing career?
- What is the name of the clothing line started by Madonna and her daughter?
- Which is Madonna's best-selling album?
- Name at least three controversies perpetrated by Madonna.

*Rejected for time and/or presumed difficulty. It's more fun if people can at least answer some of the questions!

Next game: Sexy Catchphrase!

E'erybody loves themselves some Catchphrase, amiright?! I used to dislike Catchphrase - like, the ONLY person in the world who didn't like Catchphrase - but now I've played it so much at parties...I have to say it's grown on me. (Grumble.) Anyway, I'd had an amusing time collecting Sexy Catchphrase words and phrases with Desiree and MB. I compiled them all in a Word Doc, spaced them evenly in columns, then printed them and slider-cut them into equally-sized slips of paper. I would make a Wordle for this blog post with some of the tamer answers but...there aren't many.

Everyone was laughing so hard. The game was so much fun.

Sexy Catchphrase Winner Team: (I think) Molly, Carrie Ann, Maija, Heather, Colleen, Amanda and Kim

Next Up: The Panty Game!

Here's a description of The Panty Game, from this post describing my bachelorette party:

The object of the panty game is to name the person who brought each pair of panties. Name correctly, and you collect the panties. Name incorrectly, and let's face it, most of the time you still collect the panties. (I know, complicated!) Theoretically, the panties are supposed to represent the person who brought them, but this rule becomes blurred by guests intending to make the bride happy by appealing to her taste, or by guests purposely bringing panties that are blatantly unrepresentative of their personalities, in order to trick the bride.

Here's how I altered the rules: "The object remains the same. The difference is, the winner of the game is the person whose panties required the least amount of guesses by the bride. And of course, Samantha keeps all the panties. So she's a winner, too."

The alteration makes more sense to me, because it takes the pressure off the (let's face it, drunk) bride, and negates the need for a potentially awkward "but you can have all the panties anyway" conversation, especially for guests who like to include their panties in the Panty Game as part of their official bachelorette gift for the bride. (Yeesh, this wedding crap gets complicated.)

Panty Game Winner: [Um, owner of the pink-on-pink leopard print!] (Right, I can't remember.)

After the Panty Game ended, people changed into their Madonna/80s garb. (Also around this time, Maria arrived and Kim had to leave for the night.) We took photos and then we walked to the restaurant for a lil' bachelorette party dinner.

We had a dinner reservation at Hell's Kitchen. It met the qualifications: close to the hotel, reasonably-priced, American food, macabre decor.

I had "The Ultimate B.L.T." with fries, and a glass of wine. Couldn't eat the entire sandwich because I was so full from Nicole's snacks in the room. (Plus I was saving room for piz-za later on.) Colleen's Mahnomin Porridge was surprisingly small, so she got the other half of my sandwich.

Our dinner group: Maria, Katie, Maija, Katy, Colleen, Amanda, Heather, Molly, Samantha, Desiree, Lindsey, Nicole, Lynn and Carrie Ann

Macabre decor at Hell's Kitchen. If you like this, you'll love their restroom symbols.

On the left, Katy's cute gift for Samantha. On the right, Samantha reads the card from moi.

We'd planned to open gifts and do the sculpting competition before dinner, but due to the various glitches in the plan, our timeline was pushed back a bit. No problem, though! We had Samantha open her gifts after dinner, instead.

I had the ladies do the Sculpting Competition while Samantha opened gifts. Sculpting material of choice: Play-Doh, the party favor-sized tubs.

Sorry, people! With 19th century Victorian prudishness, I must inform you that these sculptures are censored!

Sculpting Competition Winners: Lindsey and Desiree!

Here's a collage of the party decor:

Prizes for the games:

For trivia, sculpting, and the panty game: leather and lace black fingerless gloves, and a funky 80s headband.
For Sexy Catchphrase: A-penissuckers-choo!

When the gifts had been opened and the sculptures sculpted, it was time to go dancing. Some guests had to go home, and other guests staying in the hotel with us had to go to bed.

Our dancing group consisted of Samantha, Katie, Carrie Ann, Lynn and myself. We headed to The Living Room, since at the moment it's still nice-ish. They totally played a Madonna song right when we walked in!

*dancingdancingdancingdancingdancingdancingdancingdancingdancingdancing*

After we leaving The Living Room, we headed to the Warehouse District in order to check out a local bachelorette party amusement attraction.

And then it was time for pizza. Downtown Pizza Luce, I *heart* you.

***

After we'd returned to the hotel, I stretched out on the floor in the party suite, under the desk, and had one of those funny, night-time, silly-drunk phone conversations with my husband, while other ladies were getting ready for bed. Later, we finally wrapped up the night by having one of those funny night-time sleepover conversations. I fell asleep feeling happy and relieved. My number one priority had been for Samantha to have fun and to feel special.

Barring a parking lot tumble and a lost key semi-meltdown, I would say the party was a success!

Happy 33rd Birthday, MB!

2012-01-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

Miscellaneous, because I feel like it.

2012-01-13T01:05:00.000-08:00

Hm, I haven't written any updates about MB or myself in a while. So here ya go:

A Tool Chest.

(Slightly premature) birthday present!
____________________________________________________________________

Three Conversations.

***

AM: Day-um!
MB: What?
AM: Day-um!
MB: What?
AM: .............. Stuff.
MB: Okay, good point.

*****

AM: (Sits next to MB on the couch. Feet are on the ottoman. Rotates slippers to wrongside-up position on feet. Then wiggles legs and feet up and down while looking up at Marty saying to him in a goofy, high-pitched voice:) OH NOOO! My feet are on baaackwards! I'm going to have to have an operation to get that corrected! Oohhh nooooo!"
MB: (Stares down at AM quizzically.)
AM: (Laughs hard enough to make self start crying.)
MB: This is the woman I have married.

*****

MB: When we have a baby, do we have to tell everybody how long it is and how much it weighs?
AM: Probably. I'm sure the question will be unavoidable.
MB: Alright, well then can I tell people that the baby was 2 1/2 feet long and 37 pounds?
AM: Yes you can!
MB: What I'm thinking, is that I'd like the baby story to be like a fisherman's story. You know, it just gets bigger every time you tell the story!
____________________________________________________________________

Amanda Update.

A little under the weather, lately. Some sinus pressure and headaches.
____________________________________________________________________

More MB.

Hee, I found this 'post from the past' tonight, on another blog to which I belong. I wrote it during MB's most recent deployment, with his last ship. Seems odd to think that this was only a little over two and a half years ago.

And it will be at least two more years until he has to go back to sea. (And will proceed to, mostly likely, grow another 'stache.)

Gotta love grad school.
____________________________________________________________________

Cool song.

____________________________________________________________________

This weekend.

1. Birthday dinner with MB.

2. Jon's "I won a bunch of beer playing fantasy football"-Playoffs-Watching Party.

3. Promotion/pinning ceremony thingy for a Monterey pal.

4. Amanda's Nagging Chore #1 (About which I feel too guilty to write on the blog, since I meant to be done with it by now...*sigh*)

5. Amanda's Nagging Chore #2 (I'm just going to admit that this one is about continuing to get caught up on the blog.) (Thus ensuring, by announcing on the blog that I will be working on the blog, that I won't work on the blog at all.)
____________________________________________________________________

The end.

How To Lose My Attention In Less Than Two Seconds

2012-01-12T12:14:00.000-08:00

What Your Child's Name Says About You

Choosing your child's name is a big decision--after all, he'll be walking around with it for the rest of his life. And according to Laura Wattenberg, author of The Baby Name Wizard, when a child is born, the name reflects more on you than him. "The name doesn't belong to you--you're making the decision because your child can't do it for himself--but what you choose does say a lot about your personality."

But as your child gets older, the name will also reflect on him--especially when he's doing things like sending out job resumes. "People do draw conclusions based on someone's name," says Wattenberg. "It sends out such a strong signal before the person even walks into the room."

Emphasis mine, because hello: GENDER NEUTRAL LANGUAGE, PEOPLE!!!

Seriously, the story gets totally derailed in my head, and it's like the HEs and HIMs are screaming at me. This occurs every time I read something that doesn't adhere to the gender neutral format.

Not that the article isn't one big set of Duhs after another - with a few sprinklings of Stoopid:

"I suspect that many who name their child after a celebrity are speaking to their own desire for optimal fame," says Korwitts. "For instance, Mariah Carey has struggled a great deal during her career with her self-image, etc. No doubt in her mind she has held favorites stars of the past in high esteem, so in naming her daughter Monroe, she is paying homage to that admiration." What's especially interesting, notes Korwitts, is that Mariah didn't opt for the first name--she chose the surname as a first name, which speaks even more to the particular celebrity. "To have chosen Marilyn would have meant very little," she says. "She needed to make a public statement with her children's names."

Are the people quoted in this article real humans? And like, is the author a person, or just a web portal robo-reporter?

post-stravaganza

2012-01-11T01:23:00.000-08:00

For the last few days, I've been on a mission to publish a bunch of posts that I meant to finish last year, and thus, get myself caught up for the new year. So, if you have a ton of time and feel invested in my thoughts and/or personal life, please feel free to spend hours reading the following posts (that were published in rapid succession)!

Up next: S's bachelorette party post, October 2011, November 2011, Christmas 2011 (Damn! I didn't even post about that yet!), and December 2011. Hopefully.

Liz and Francois' Rad 1980s-Themed Baby Party!

2012-01-10T23:47:00.000-08:00

On the first day of October 2011, MB and I had the pleasure of hosting a baby shower for our dear Monterey friends, Liz and Francois. (Liz is an officer attending grad school along with MB; she and her South African husband Francois have popped up regularly in this blog for the last year and a half. We like them a lot.) Liz had expressed reticence about having a traditional baby shower, and insisted that if we have to have a party, then it needs to be a costume party, and it needs be an 80s costume party. I was like "Done, and done."

So here is the blog post that I've been meaning to write about that night!

My decorations for the party! Yep, the white streamers and silver fringe is leftover from my wedding decoration stash. I made the tissue paper flowers for the baby party.

We turned the atrium into the Onesie-Painting Zone. It was fun to greet the guests as they arrived, and check out their crazy 80s outfits.

The Diningroom, below. Francois said that the new baby's color would be purple, so I combined that with teal for the party decor.

Aside from the onesie I painted, these were the tamest of the bunch:

Heehee, I was quite proud of my 80s' themed cupcakes. (MB whipped up the batter from a box mix - YES I CHEATED - but we made yummy homemade frosting.) It was ridiculously easy and amusing for me to Google-image-search 80s icons to print and paste onto 80s lollies.

Rose, Effie (daughter of Jennifer and James) and Enrique (Rose's son). Heh, Effie's onesie reads "I pity the fool." (And don't you just love her little leg-warmers?! So cute!)

The favor bags. Yes, these are leftover from the wedding. Oh, and the 80s baby party favors: mini-cans of Coke and packets of Pop Rocks! Hee.

Just when I was patting myself on the back for the third time about the creation of the 80s cupcakes, Meryn arrived with these AMAZING 80s cookies. Doh! (They were awesome. Meryn is a domestic goddess.) The "H" cookies are in honor of the baby-to-be-born's name, "Helena." This is pronounced in Afrikaans as "Hey-lee-ain-ah, and her nickname is "Leentjie" (pronounced "Linky").

The spread: Liz made a pasta salad with spinach, tomatoes and feta. Francois prepared pulled pork and barbequed teriyaki chicken fingers. There was potato salad, and Rose brought some deviled eggs to add to my deviled eggs. Deviled eggs galore!

Because people loved to be photographed when they are eating.

Left: Molly and Josh

(Molly had their baby less than a week after this party, and oh my gosh is she not a seriously adorable pregnant lady?!)

Right: Lisa and Anree

Below: Joe, Holden and Meryn

Babies checking out babies! Jennifer and Effie with Meryn and Holden

MJ and Paul! MJ took serious advantage of the numerous baby-holding opportunities.

So did MB! (With Holden.)

After we finished eating, it was time for a game! I prepared a game of Baby/80s Pictionary: The answers were either baby- or 80s-related.

Lisa and James, during each of their turns. James originally had a much wilder 80s outfit, but unfortunately Effie spit up all over it right before they were about the leave the house. The travails of parenting a newborn!

Intently paying attention. Here are the some of the answers I created for the game:

I think Liz's team won. But really, the fun was in the clues and answers - sharing memories of 80s pop culture, and educating certain people about things like "episiotomies." Of course, I (who has never been a mommy) wrote the answers, so instead of thinking of stuff like "Boppy" and "binky," I came up with "fallopian tubes" and "mammary glands."

Liz also hadn't wanted to open gifts in front of everyone, but the other guests suggested it, so L & F went along with the scheme. It wasn't so bad, or awkward for them, in the end.

When the gift-opening had ended, MB advised everyone to "Finish painting your inappropriate onesie!"

To which I replied "It's not the 'Inappropriate' Onesie-Painting Contest! Just the Onesie Painting Contest!!!!!!11"

No one really listened to me, though.

That is MJ laughing herself to tears over the onesies, all of which I cannot post on this blog, beecause damn, they are inappropriate! Liz picked managed to pick a winner, however.

Then we got the group together for one big picture! Part of what made the party so fun was everyone's enthusiasm for putting together and wearing their costumes. I loved it. Most importantly though, L & F loved it. I'm so happy we were able to give them the kind of 'baby party' that fit their personalities. I'm so glad that they had fun.

When people starting leaving, I suggested Enrique take home some balloons. He was thrilled! We had some major discussions about how he wasn't to let go of them when he walked outside.

Then of course I had to get a classy photo of the expecting couple! (Above! Not below!)

- and finally, we had a photo taken of MB and I. He was being a bit rebellious by wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with "1990" to an 80s party, but isn't it cool that we have a 1990 Sturgis Motorcycle Rally t-shirt?!

I think so.

September 2011: The Month I Got Married

2012-01-10T21:41:00.000-08:00

This starts out slow (ie. wordy) because I am talking about wedding stuff, but later on things move along at a faster pace.

Not that it *won't* still take you a thousand years to read it.

1 September

This morning, my mom drove over from my parent's house in Wyoming to the farm. We held some preliminary discussions about vases and things we had to do that day, and then agreed to drive over the City Hall in Newell.

On the way into town, I stopped at the gas station that everyone stops at for snacks, and poured myself a huge cup of coffee. While I was paying for my cuppa, I suddenly heard a voice behind me go... "Samantha?"

Uh huh. I turned to see my old classmate Ryan, who was rather a pal of mine back in high school and who I saw and spoke with - as ME, "Amanda" - at our 10-year high school reunion only four years ago!

Amanda: Hi, Ryan! Did you just say 'Samantha'?
Ryan: Yeah....that's you're name, right?
Amanda: Um, no. It's A-man-da.

I was thinking "Are you on drugs, or are you just being an asshole?!"

We exchange pleasantries about why I was in town and who I was marrying. He didn't seem to have any issues recognizing MB's name. Then I was thinking "I am SO not inviting you to stop on by."

That's kind of how it was for our wedding. In the days before, we received random greetings and questions from people who had not been invited, but who asked if it was okay to stop by. Since we were getting married on Labor Day weekend, which is a big community event in our area, and since there was a street dance happening on the other side of the block at the very same time, we were welcoming to these acquaintances and bygone friends. We were able to accommodate them anyway, since there was a small group who canceled at the last moment, or just fucking didn't even show up (after RSVPing that they would). But that's a rant for another day. (I think I'm going to need something like five years at least to discuss that with any sense of humor.)

Decorating Madness Ensues

Anyway, we're treading into territory where my stress levels ratchet up to 11 (on a scale of 1 to 10). There was a lot help that I thought would be there for me. I needed people to help me with the decorating plan, and I didn't have anybody, when I thought I would. So for much of this day I was confused and thus, I lost precious time that I needed for decorating. This panic persisted into the next day as well. I already wrote a huge blog post about it, which took forever and made me sob while I typed it, but it was the writing of it that was semi-cathartic, not the posting of it. So I will outline the rest of the day in sparser terms:

Mom left Newell to pick up Justin and Summer at the airport in Rapid City and run errands.

I set up tables in the genius arrangement I'd drawn in the plans before even leaving for SD. I untangled ribbon and formed the plan for how I would use it with decorating. Casey, Becky and Kierra arrived. Casey strung up the lights from the ceiling. Becky and I discussed the place settings, and then she worked on polishing the plates, flatware and glasses. Kierra ran around playing and "helping." I drove back to the farm to retrieve all my flowers and the rest of the flatware/dishes. My stepdad was there, along with my stepbrother and his family. They helped me load flowers in the car.

Back at City Hall, I started separating the flowers into more vases. I had to choose the blooms that I would use to make the bouquets for the brideswomen. Casey and Becky ordered a Picadilly Pizza from the gas station where I'd bought my coffee earlier. Small town. I didn't eat veggies that day, but I did consume exactly one slice of pizza, and that's it. I was too busy to feel hungry.

Justin, Summer and Mom arrived. I showed Justin and Summer the materials for setting up the photobooth, so they got to work on that. They worked on the lighting for photography and snapped a bunch of test photos. Mom departed to iron linens. We realized that the photobooth stuff wasn't going to lay against the wall (because of the old wood paneling) as well as I'd thought.

This stuff doesn't sound like much, but it lasted for hours.

So at the end of the night, I made a last minute trip to Rapid City to try to find photobooth materials at their lackluster party supplies store. (No Party City, RC?!) I found some stuff. Did however pick up the favor bags and candy scoopers. (Thanks for having a Michael's, RC!) I texted with Samantha:

Oh wait - the above part was NOT the end of the night. Haha, silly me. These nights leading up to the wedding - they never came to an end! When I arrived back at the farm, I put together my bouquet, and the six brideswomen bouquets.

I finished around midnight, and about a half hour after that, MB stopped by the farm. He'd flown in after classes ended that day. Casey had picked him up at the airport. He was staying with Casey in Spearfish that night, but I needed him to deliver supplies he was bringing from CA, to me. It was nice to see him. I proudly showed off the bouquets.

2 September

This was the Decorating/Rehearsal Hell Day. I blogged all about it here! (Minus the aforementioned semi-cathartic stuff which will not be published in the foreseeable future.)

Anyhoodle, here we are at the rehearsal picnic!

Wedding Rehearsal Day Photo Essay!

3 September

This is the day that I got married!

The Story of My Wedding Extravaganza 2011: Wordy, But Totally Worth It (Hilarity and Minimal Vehemence contained within!)

Wedding Ceremony Photos Redux

Wedding Reception Photos Redux

4 September

This is fun, because now I get to tell you about stuff we did in South Dakota after the wedding!

Here's where we stayed on the night of our wedding: Secret Garden Bed & Breakfast, in Spearfish, South Dakota.

National Registry of Historic Places, Circa 1892

The proprietors were lovely. MB had told them earlier that we would probably not be able to awake in time for breakfast, so they promised to feed us whenever we did get up. And feed us they did! The eggs were scrambled with dill that was grown in the B&B's herb garden.

Cute foyer, from above:

On the left, the a peek into the room catercorner from ours. In the middle, our bedroom (remember, it was the last available room at the B&B, and close to last in the whole town)! On the right, our neat little bathroom.

There were two standard poodles padding around, and sort of being chased by other guests, these two little girls. One of the dogs was named "Mr. Wilson." The younger girl called to him about a million times. Mr. Wilson was more interested in curling up on MB's feet, however.

We sat in the parlor and drank coffee while waiting for Adam to come over from the hotel in Belle Fourche, to pick us up. The GTO was in the parking lot there, and the bus had dropped us off at the B&B the night before.

Adam arrived, and drove us to BF. We had the opportunity to greet and chat with a bunch of friends who were leaving or making their appearances for the morning. Jon and Amy still had a bunch of Wyoming and South Dakota sightseeing on the agenda, as did Dez and Jeff. Jeff was out in the parking lot, so I followed him to their room to visit with Dez for a little while, while MB talked to his pals outside, Adam, Luke, Steve. Colleen and Erin had left their wedding gifts for us at the front desk.

City Hall Cleaning / Quilting Ladies Showdown!

Then we drove to Newell, because there was a wedding reception to clean up in the City Hall. When we arrived, kind Mrs. Velder (manager of the museum that is located in another part of City Hall) was a little distraught because she thought everything would have been cleaned up the night before. Another city employee had given us the OK to clean up the next day, and Mrs. Velder didn't know that. (Even if we hadn't received that permission, NOBODY would have been physically able to clean up after that reception had ended.) It was only an issue because the local quilting club wanted to set up their quilt displays that morning, for the Labor Day celebration. Because most of them are much older and they like to do things extremely early in the morning.

Thankfully, my family was there, and they had already started cleaning. Mother, step-dad and step-siblings. We all worked together, gathering trash, boxing vases and candles, taking down streamers and sweeping, putting away the tables. Later, our friend Luke arrived, and helped as well! We didn't hold up the quilting ladies for too long, and then they got a bunch of bouquets of roses for decoration out of the deal. So I don't think they fared too badly, for having to wait a couple of hours.

Casey and Becky arrived to take all the dishes and flatware, and to take their car home (I would no longer need it). I ran some stuff home, and then returned for Mom. MB and Luke headed to the Newell Bar with their laptops, to do some fantasy-sport-related stuff, and I went home to rest. My step-dad's kids and their families had decided to hang out and stay the night, so at least I got to visit normally with them. (Rather than just exchange greetings in the madness that is a wedding.)

Hailie

Hailie, my step-sister Lori's daughter, wasn't so much a fan of me resting. She was more into me doing all kinds of fun activities with her. Since I had a ton of crafting stuff at the farm, including a glue gun and painting supplies, I suggested that she make something. I would help her. I sat in the livingroom talking to Lori for a long time, while gluing items, as per Hailie's indications.

She made a sign for her bedroom door!

Later, the fam was preparing dinner. MB returned from Newell and sat next to me, and we made a nice dazed pair of married folk. Hailie still wanted to do some crafting, and I felt bad, because I had zero energy left. She's only six, so maybe she won't grow up to remember how step-auntie Amanda was mean wouldn't play with her some more. (I am being cheeky; Hailie is a very sweet kid.)

MB and I needed to determined which wedding gifts we would be able to bring with us on the plane, so I figured we might as well open the gifts at the table in the dining area, and people could check them out, if they wanted. We opened boxes and envelopes, and Mother completed the itemized list for us.

We didn't have any problem falling asleep that night.

5 September

Happy Labor Day!

We woke up this morning as the family was eating breakfast. My family is extremely loud, so even though we had a schedule to stick to today, I didn't bother setting an alarm clock. MB dressed and went out to the table, and while I got myself ready, I smiled when I heard him tell my mom that he wanted to save the last of the coffee creamer that we had in the house, for me.

The family left to go to Newell. There is a Labor Day parade every year, and a smattering of various other activities. (I'm not sure whether my family attends the Labor Day Rodeo anymore, but FYI, there is one!) MB and I carefully packed our suitcases. We were actually able to take most gifts back on the plane (since many people sent our gifts in the mail, or gave us checks). We had to get on the plane that day, but we had some time to say goodbye to loved ones. So we left the farm, and headed to Newell. In the meantime, I found the bottle of wine that we used in the ceremony in the car, and decided to finish it off. (It would have just gone to waste otherwise!)

Things get seriously ancestral.

We found my family on the corner near City Hall. The parade was just ending. Mrs. Velder had shared with us the wonderful idea of taking photos in front of the homestead cabin and old school house, which are situated next to the City Hall. Why would doing so be special? Because the cabin was built by one of MB's paternal ancestors! And the old school house was where my grandfather (in the 1910s) and my mother (in the 1950s) had attended school. The Historical Society had had both buildings moved from their respective original locations. Mrs. Velder had actually suggested that we take the photos while in our wedding garb, and it was an excellent suggestion, but we just didn't have the time, or presence of mind, to do so on our wedding day. So I thought we could at least do it before we left town.

Here's the interior of the homestead cabin:

Outside the cabin with my husband. Inside the school house with my mother. My grandmother Viola was also a country schoolteacher, and she bequeathed several historic remnants from those days to the old school house and the museum, before she passed away in 1995.

The schoolhouse exterior, below. When we first moved to South Dakota (in 1990), my brother and I attended the same country school, but by then, a new building was in use. This old building rested behind our school house, beyond the playground equipment - and the outhouses. (Heehee, we only used the outhouses when the pipes in the building froze. Or when we were too lazy to go inside during recess.)

After the photo op, we joined the rest of the family in the Newell Museum (remember, located in City Hall as well). This is Hailie and her older brother Tanner, below. Hailie had a bunch of things to show me in the museum. Mrs. Velder found some papers detailing MB's family history, and made some photocopies for him. Very nice of her.

And then we had to say "goodbye" to everyone, and get ourselves to Casey, Becky and Kierra's house in Spearfish.

Below, Kierra poses for me, outside her house!

We made final arrangements for the car. MB left it in South Dakota (since we have some cross-country moving to do in the next couple of years). We said "goodbye" to Becky, and then loaded up in Casey's truck with him and Kierra, for the ride to Rapid City. We picked up C & MB's father Bill en route. There had been some worry that we might be running late, but when we arrived in RC, we realized we still had time for lunch. Tacos and Burritos!

And then finally, Casey, Kierra and Bill dropped us off at the airport.

Mountains, as seen from the Denver airport transit garage.

In Rapid City, United was asking people to take vouchers in exchange for a later flight. My first instinct was to mutter under my breath to MB, "No way in hell we're doing that!" MB was interested though, which surprised me. We were too late to take the deal, however. Then it happened again in Denver; United needed some people to take a later flight. This time MB went for it (with my blessing). The exchange? $800 in flight vouchers. He was thinking about tickets we needed for the MN bachelorette party (for Samantha) and for the NYE wedding. (Just pay for a wedding yourself and then see how much fun it is to buy a bunch of things directly afterward.) United put us up in a nice hotel. It was a decent enough deal, once I emotionally recovered from the idea that I wouldn't be going to sleep in my own bed that night.

6 September

We woke up in Denver, and caught a morning flight to San Francisco. I believe I recall the staff at Boudin SF acting like assholes / pissing me off, while we waited for the flight to Monterey.

Other than that, the flights were uneventful in a good way, and we were very happy to arrive home. Francois picked us up from the airport. (Thanks, Francois!)

7 September

Hm, no documentation of this day, but I'm going to make a guess about my activities that I believe to be 99% accurate: I hung out in bed and did things with photos on the computer, All Day Long.

MB went to the doctor and got some poison oak-killing steroids. MMm, steroids.

8 September

Feminism: Not Just Your Step-Daughter's Mental Disorder Anymore!

Also: Started reading Treasure Island, by Robert Louis Stevenson, for Classics Book Club.

9 September

Still in Wedding Recovery Mode, but I am betting that around this time period, I was harassing people to share their photos from the wedding with me.

10 September

Finished Treasure Island! It was a fun read.

Later: Visited the "men's" body wash aisle at Target again.

Why don't they put mountains or some islands on the bottles of Lady Body Wash?! I would totes scrub my armpits up with some "Uluru" or "Fjord." Raaaawwwrrrr!

11 September

On this night, MB and I met Liz, Francois and many of Francois' rugby teammates and teammates' SOs at The London Bridge Pub, for some rugby finals-watching and some door prizes. MB bought a t-shirt to help raise funds for the team.

12 September

Mantivities: After a little wood choppin', MB prefers to kick back with a brew in front of a some Monday Night Football.

13 September

Hm. On this day I apparently took a screenshot of my computer screen, and labeled the image "Outrage. Outrage!"

14 September

Neat shot of the Del Monte Mall:

Made some cheeseburger bake that night, for supper!

On this evening, I dropped MB off at the airport. He flew to Indiana for a project related to his thesis.

15 September

It's difficult to blog about my wedding when the 1969 film version of Women In Love is playing in "the background." I happened to recall that this is the film that features the full frontal male nudity required to faithfully present Rupert and Gerald's Nude Male Wrestling scene in the novel.

We are mentally and physically close, therefore we should be physically close, too. It's more complete!
- Rupert Birkin

Uh huh, Rupert.

I have an issue with D.H. Lawrence, in that I fundamentally disagree with him that love and sex are so mothereffing metaphysical.

16 September

Wedding Rehearsal Day Photo Essay!

17 September

??? Not sure what I did on this day.

OH - but I remember that I met Liz and Francois and the rugby crowd down at The London Bridge Pub that night, for a little more rugby finals action! It was pretty fun (for someone who has a minimal interest in rugby).

18 September

MB was still gone, so I grabbed my camera and decided to visit a couple places in Monterey that I'd been meaning to record and/or check out. So here's the Mini-Monterey Tour:

The Monterey Wells Fargo, downtown. I think it's a pretty bank. The photo below shows the view catercorner from the WF. That's Plume's Coffee House on the corner; I like that place.

Then I checked out the Robert Louis Stevenson House. I'd been meaning to drop by ever since we moved to Monterey (Classic Lit Nerd), but since I'd just read Treasure Island a few days ago, doing so was on my mind. This is the garden behind the building:

More about the Stevenson House. (He didn't actually live here for very long, but there is a theory that the features found on the eponymous Treasure Island were taken from the landscape of the Monterey Peninsula!)

This faded State Theater mural that I like on Washington Street.

Sidewalk chalk art in front of the East Village Coffee Lounge. MB and I had a couple glasses of wine here on the day that we decided to rent our house in Monterey.

George's Birds! Headed toward the Custom House Plaza.

I love this view of the wharf, with the boats in the water and the mountains in the background. I see this every time I go running.

Some concrete slab art, viewed from Cannery Row.

Lone kayaker in the bay.

Okay, so now I'm definitely entering repetitive territory, as I've certainly posted photos of Lover's Point at least a million times already.

One more shot for the road! Via Instragram:

19 September

Blogged! How I Planned the WEDDING EXTRAVAGANZA 2011

At the moment, I am a party-planning fool. Meaning: I am planning two parties right now, and therefore I am a fool. Samantha's bachelorette party has been in the works for months, but didn't have much time or space in my brain to research the details. But the (MADONNA-THEMED!) event is a mere month away, at this point! I'm not on my own, however. Desiree is co-planning, along the Sisters Nicole and Lindsey, and even Friend Kim pitched in with ideas about hotels and restaurants. The e-invitation is sent, thank goodness, so I can move on to games and supplies.

The other party is a baby shower for Liz and Francois. MB and I are hosting it at our house. Liz felt weird about having a party where people give, and watch her open, baby gifts, but I insisted that they required a baby shower, and so they are getting a damn baby shower, dammit! But we're doing it her way: this baby shower is an 80'S-THEMED! costume party. The new little one is expected around the third week of October, so we're holding the baby shower two weeks from now. I have doubts that it will be the drunken bacchanal that became Rebecca and Sean's baby shower a couple of months ago, but you never know. Military couples be cray cray.

20 September

Goodness! I finally finished it: The Story of My Wedding Extravaganza 2011: Wordy, But Totally Worth It (Hilarity and Minimal Vehemence contained within!)

21 September

I remember that I had a sweet/lengthy phone conversation with Bonnie on this day. And right before she called, there was a package delivery, something MB and I had ordered over a week ago...

Amanda: Our new vacuum was delivered today, but I'm waiting to open it until MB gets home. I'm so excited!
Bonnie: Is it a Dyson?
Amanda: Hahaha, yep!
Bonnie: Whenever someone tells me they are excited about their new vacuum, it's a Dyson.

Later that evening, I picked MB up from the airport. He'd had an excellent Indiana trip. Then we came home and opened up the package with our new Dyson. The DC Animal 25, baby! We used money that we received in wedding cards.

FYI: Dysons are truly as great as everyone says they are.

22 September

Made Maria S's Dutch Oven macaroni and cheese recipe, in our new Dutch oven!

Then MB's computer screen did this:

So MB had to go get a new laptop. It was somewhat of a hit, considering that we just paid for a wedding (ahem...are still paying...) but he needs a computer - for school.

23 September

At some point before this, Francois had alerted MB to the existence of all this wood that had been piled in their neighborhood in Carmel, which free for the taking. So MB took it.

And chopped it all up.

Today I had a craving for Mexican food from Turtle Bay Taqueria:

Posted Wedding Reception Photos Redux

24 September

This was the day of Dena and Tyler's baby shower! Tyler is one of MB's pals / classmates. Below, the card we gave them (with the message that their gift, chosen from their Amazon baby registry, was in the mail!). Also: the fancy real cake they had at the shower, and the fancy onesie cake constructed by mutual friend Meryn F!

Hot Pink, Lime Green and zebra print were chosen for the baby's room, so they used those colors for the shower.

Funny onesies from Amy C: "My mom's a fox," above, and below, "My dad's a geek"

Dena's dog, Sprockette!

They had some good food at the party (including evil buffalo chicken dip), but I didn't eat much of it. We were due at Will and Miyuki's house that afternoon, too. Will was having a cookout with pulled pork in three different sauces. I was saving my appetite for that.

Liz and Francois were also over at Will's. Francois, Aika and Sean had some electronic handheld-game fun.

And Aika celebrated her 8th birthday! That's a Spiderman cake.

This little blondy Mr. Dimples, is one of the cutest toddlers I've ever met. Earlier he was giving MB hugs, while MB threw significant glances at me from across the room.

Also, this conversation took place: Francois was sitting next to Aika on the couch. Aika was drinking a Coke.

Francois: Are you sure you should drink that, Aika? You know it's filled with chemicals and sugar.
Aika: Nuh-uh!
Amanda: Aw, be nice, Francois!
Francois: Just read the ingredients on the can, Aika! Right on the side there.
Aika: C-O-K...
Sean: (looking over from his hand-held video game) Aika, what does CAWK taste like?!
Aika: Huh?
All the adults: *Silently laughing so hard, tears running down face.*
Sean: ...Oh, I mean...
Will: (still laughing) Don't worry about it, Sean!
Aika: *confusion*

26 September

Went running today, after almost a month of falling off the running wagon.

Ed Ricketts always reminds me to look both ways before I cross the street.

A beautiful sunny day of feeling happy, etc.

Published! March 2011: The Month of Okay So I Probably Take Too Many Photos of the Shoreline

27 September

Then published this! April 2011: The Month of Feeling Annoyed That No One Would Comment That Anthropomorphically Male Computer Keyboard Dirt Particles When Paired With Anthropomorphically Female Kitchen Dirt Particles In A Swiffer Commercial Are Completely Fricking STOOPID. Also, more photos of the coastline.

28 September

Not sure what happened on this day, but this is a good time to write about how aside from recovering from the wedding in September, so much of this month was about feeling peaceful. It's not that before I felt insecure with MB because we hadn't gotten married yet. But I admit that there's a relief and happiness that I didn't expect (I was already happy to be with him), after getting married. I am feeling peaceful, and it's very good.

29 September

Then posted this. Okay, so my May 2011 post is a tad late.

30 September

And finally posted about May 2011: The Month of Bay to Breakers and Wedding Planning.

And that's September.

August 2011: The Month of FREAKING OUT About The Wedding

2012-01-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

OMG! I'm still doing these Monthly Happenings!!

1 August

This is the day that I had my first wedding gown fitting at the boutique where I'd taken the dress, in Carmel. This photo is without the sash that goes around the top of the skirt. I'd been a few minutes late for the appointment, partly because once I'd parked, I couldn't locate the teensy boutique along the maze of teensy little Carmel shoppes. And they really should be called "shoppes." So then I was running to find the place, and still sweating when the seamster was zipping me up. Which was kind of gross.

I still didn't love the dress at this point, but I was happy that she had successfully altered the gown to fit me.

2 August

Email discussion of brideswoman and bride accessories. Much looking at photos and bridal related stuff on the Internet.

3 August

This was the day that I tried a new method for deciding what kinds of bouquets I wanted my ladies to carry in the wedding. Hee.

This is also the day that I went ballistic on the topic of the alignment in my wedding blog being all screwed up, and angrily emailed all my ladies with the complaint, and angrily sent a couple of rageful tweets into the atmosphere on the topic.

I'm a peach.

I then proceeded to fix the wedding blog, and a few peeps responded to tell me that they never even noticed the misalignment.

This was the night that I finally watched the film Muriel's Wedding, after years of hearing/reading people raving about it. Toni Collette and Rachel Griffiths?! How can you go wrong? But it was kind of a disappointment. Not as hilarious as I thought it would be, and utterly heartbreaking in a sort of easy way that makes me feel resentful. When I think about the portrayal of Muriel's mother, I just feel like crying.

4 August

On this day, I felt a little silly for freaking out so much about the wedding blog.

While working on wedding-related stuff in the livingroom, I happened to catch the Doctor Who episodes "Silence in the Library" and "Forest of the Dead" on BBC America. I'd sort of had it in mind to watch the new Doctor Who series, which started again in 2005 (I'd caught part of "School Reunion a couple years ago) for a while now, and coincidentally, on this very day had read this great post on Tiger Beatdown: "The Girl Who Waited: Why I Hate Amy Pond." Thus begins the Doctor Who obsession.

Also, holy crap! This was the night that we won at trivia! A bunch of times!

MJ, Paul, Will, Amanda and MB

That is, we won the first round, the second round, and took 1st place for the overall score. We kicked *so much* ass.

Hm, I don't think we've done that since then.

5 August

Samantha, Desiree and I exchange 24 emails about bridal gowns and brideswoman dresses and weddings in general.

MB and I discussed wedding ideas with our officiant, Mary.

Later that night, I was feeling guilty about eating a calorie-rich breakfast, and also about never using the Wii Fit we own, since MB purchased it months ago after I'd suggested it. So I insisted that we spend a hot Friday night doing all the Wii Fit "exercises" and playing board games.

MB thought my "flapping bird" was hi-freaking-larious, but I'm a winner, man.

Then we played a little LIFE. Did you know that the entirety of my childhood passed me by before I played the game of LIFE? I know, so sad. We received this "classic" version as wedding shower gift!

MB won. I think the game is rigged.

6 August

On this evening, we spent a lovely evening at Liz and Francois' house, eating dinner, playing games and talking, as usual.

Ribs, salad and dill potatoes, mmm!

7 August

Who knows what happened on this day?!

8 August

More discussion with my ladies about brideswomen accessories.

9 August

Some Soulful Lady Singers to Make You Cry on a Tuesday: My quest to find wedding music is derailed by some sad, soulful music (and my mood), on YouTube.

10 August

Lalalalalala...

11 August

I started working on my wedding crafts.

Lil' painted wedding party. I know, totally dorky. But I had fun anyway.

And there's the beginning of my photobooth props!

Also, watched Doctor Who episodes "Army of Ghosts" and "Doomsday," while crafting. They are excellent and Doctor Who is my New Favorite Thing.

Went for a run in the evening.

12 August

This was the day that I finally made my decision about the flowers. I ordered them from a wholesale florist, on the advice of Joey's lovely lady Anna.

13 August

Started watching Doctor Who via Netflix. Beginning with 11th Doctor (the latest doctor) and working my way backwards, for some reason. Streamed it on my laptop while working in kitchen.

Later, Liz and Francois came over for dinner at our place, for once! I'd made homemade tomato soup, and MB whipped up some grilled cheese sandwiches. I was feeling nostalgic for the Jello pudding that my mom used to make for brother and I when we were little kids, so I'd prepared some of that, too, for dessert. It was okay.

14 August

Today on my run, I was struck with the vibrant colors on the beach at Lover's Point:

Pretty!

Later that night, MB and worked on writing out the structure of our wedding ceremony. We needed to send it all to our officiant, Mary, and soon.

More Doctor Who on Netflix.

15 August

Today I emailed Mary The Officiant our ideas about the wedding ceremony.

Here's a pretty neighborhood scene in Pacific Grove. Despite running the previous day, I apparently I felt like going on another evening run.

Running in the winter in Monterey is wonderful, but I sure do love those evening summertime runs.

Later on, I blogged.

There Will Be Peaches, Gleaming, Crying and Practicing: I discuss latest wedding planning updates, and my fear of crying during the wedding ceremony. Plus, I had my ring cleaned.

16 August

Today was the day of my last dress fitting! On this day I was late arriving at the boutique (and sweaty, yet AGAIN) not because I didn't know where it was located, or because of my own general tardiness, because there was a freaking huge car show taking place in freaking tiny Carmel. Argh. Couldn't find a place to park. Ended up driving around, and finally committing an outrageous act of pulling a U-ey in the middle of a sleepy residential intersection that happened to be busy only because of the car show, in order to park on the side of the street opposite to which I'd been driving. Much to the annoyance of the other vehicles in the intersection.

I find that when I do something relatively harmless yet annoying and sort of scandalous in traffic, it's best to just ignore the faces and hands of all the other drivers involved, and ignore I did!

After trying on the dress, expressing my appreciation to the seamster, and paying her, I decided to stash my gown in the car, and then walk around the car show a bit, and pop into a couple of my favorite stores in Carmel. The bustle and the sunshine had inspired me.

More Wedding Business: This is also the day that Samantha agreed to provide containers for the candy favors at my wedding reception. (Thanks Samantha!) I finally decided on my necklace for the wedding day, and ordered it online! This is the 21st century, yo.

17 August

One Annoying Thing - One Cute Thing: David Cross robbing the cradle, and a beluga whale that dances to mariachi music.

18 August

My Omega necklace for the wedding day arrived in the mail! Yippee!

19 August

Finally made a decision, and then ordered my wedding day shoes - from Amazon. Last minute, you say? Two weeks before the wedding ain't no "last minute!"

*snort*

20 August

We went sailing with MJ!

Aside from wedding planning and school, one of MB's projects this month involved joining the new sailing club at school, and becoming the maintenance person for the boats. Maintenancing means getting the boats repaired/fixed up, and having more access to the boats. On this day we decided to take advantage of this new access (and take a break from wedding-planning), by going sailing in the Monterey Bay! We took MJ with us. She brought a bottle of wine (we like her).

For the first time ever, we had a bit of difficulty in moving the boat out of the slip. At one point, the cliche scenario in which the wind knocks the boom violently across the bow...took place...and nearly knocked me off the boat. It would have caused me to fall and hit the deck and the fence and possibly the water very unevenly, but as I was positioned near the mast, I managed to hang on and avoid much injury. I did get a large bruise on my arm and I did feel kind of pissed off. MJ was impressed with my prowess, however. I do like impressing people.

The day was overcast (such is the Monterey Summer). But it was nice to be on the water again! I wish I could say we've taken full advantage of the boats since this day last August.

Later that evening I took a photo of my fingernails in front of the soaps in the kitchen sink. (Why? why?) Glamorous night of washing dishes.

21 August

This is the day that I sent out the rehearsal and ceremony schedule to the wedding party.

I sat in the livingroom and worked on wedding projects while MB got to work on one of his wedding projects: polishing the shoes that he's owned for approximately one million years.

He did a fantastic job, considering!

22 August

Hm.

?

(Wedding planning.)

23 August

Wedding, blah blah blah, wedding. Samantha and I returned to talking about her wedding, which was nice. We toyed with the idea of brooch bouquets.

More Doctor Who on Netflix.

24 August

Still bruised from sailing.

Moved all the crafting projects to the giant diningroom table.

Did my crafting in front my laptop, featuring...Doctor Who on Netflix.

25 August

This was the day that MB accidentally walked into one of the poison oak patches in the forest behind our house. And I can't make fun of that because - listen up, people! - poison oak is a nasty bitch. Seriously. Look up the information about where poison oak grows, be able to identify it, and stay the hell away from it. Word.

Later, more discussions with Mary The Officiant about the wedding ceremony.

And...another date with the Doctor. *blush*

26 August

I took a break from thinking about the wedding or Doctor Who to admire the pretty morning view from our deck.

27 August

Blogged! Wherein I Help Out With Wedding Night Sex Tips for Virgins!

Went for a walk down to the Cannery Row Antique Mall. I was looking for cake stands, but the search was surprisingly fruitless. (There were plenty of crystal cake stands, but I was looking for cute colorful stands.) I did run into these guys, however:

I was also surprised and delighted to find a replica of the dollhouse that I had when I was tiny little girl. It was priced at $745.00! Seriously! I couldn't believe it. My mother had bought mine at a flea market in the early 80s; I doubt that she paid more than $5.00. (I wish I knew the year/maker of this dollhouse. Hm...perhaps I should have asked that day?)

28 August

I ordered the books for the bridewomen gifts. Ordered the map for the photo collage. Had both packages sent to MB's brother Casey's house in South Dakota.

Briefly blogged! Hahahahahahahasob! (Gloria Steinem quote.)

29 August

Today I/we finalized the program/readings/sequence of events for the ceremony, and emailed it all to Mary The Officiant.

Due to MB's utter physical misery, caused by the evil poison oak, I took charge of researching and ordering the tuxedo t-shirts for his groomsmen. Yeah, at this point we were now definitely in Last Minute Mode.

Hm, according to the photo below, I did something that I sure I deemed necessary, and went to Anthropologie. I don't think I actually bought anything, so...right.

Pretty, though!

Then I went home and printed wedding programs. In the middle of the program printing, MB had to make an emergency run to Target for more ink. Chagrin times a thousand!

After I finished the wedding programs, I packed a huge suitcase full of wedding stuff - for my flight to South Dakota the next morning. It took me so long, that MB slept in the guest room that night. All the clothes I needed, parts of brideswoman gifts, all the ribbon, other decor and fabric, the programs - all that crap went into the suitcase. Oh - and my wedding gown. That went in there, too. What an odd suitcase.

I don't think I actually went to bed that night. I finished the suitcase, then showered and dressed for the plane.

30 August

MB dropped me off at the airport, and I don't remember most of the flights to SD, so that must mean I slept through much of them. BIL-to-be Casey met me at the Rapid City Airport with a car; I would take Becky's (SIL-to-be) car for the next few days. My first stop in Rapid City was at the mall. I had my ring cleaned for the ceremony, and revitalized my body with an iced latte. Then went to Target and bought a couple toiletries I'd forgotten, along with bottles of water and microwaveable veggies. I'd decided that for the next few days I would only drink water and eat vegetables. (I'm a last minute dieter.)

From Rapid City, I drove to Spearfish, where I'd located a bridal salon that could press my gown in time for the wedding. The hair salon where I'd be getting my wedding hair done was in Spearfish, so it would be convenient to pick up my dress in the same town.

When I arrived at the farm - where I'd be staying until the wedding - the next day, I was impressed with the floors that my parents had had just re-finished. Nice floors!

I texted a photo of the floors to MB and then took a nap.

My parents don't have cable TV at the farmhouse. For the rest of my time there, I completed wedding projects in front of films on VHS. I drank water and ate microwaved veggies. No one else was at the house yet; I was alone.

It had the potential to feel creepy, if I hadn't been stressing about the wedding.

31 August

This morning, I went running along the pretty, quiet country highway.

Some July 4th pranking?

View of Bear Butte. In our old house on the farm (1991-1995, for me), there was a perfect, straight-on view of Bear Butte through the livingroom picture window. It was so cool.

The road back toward Vale.

After running, I worked for a while in front of Sense and Sensibility. My Uncle Bob and Aunt Janet stopped by the house, and nearly died of heat. I like it hot. I turned the fans on them. They chatted for just a little while, and then left. Soon after, I left to go to Newell and get the keys for the reception hall. With that accomplished, I then drove to Belle Fourche to meet Casey at the ceremony location.

Stopped at a coffee shop en route for an iced latte.

Below, Casey and Kierra try out various locations for the arbor. Casey needed to know where to place it; we didn't want the guests to have to look into the sun, or similarly torture the wedding party.

Afterward, Casey, Kierra and I traveled to Sturgis to pick up the dishes, flatware and glasses for the wedding dinner. Here's what I have to say about that process: shenanigans! I don't even have the energy to write about it. In the end, however, we left with all the goods.

Then Casey suggested stopping for a drink, and I did not object. Bars in Sturgis have names like "The Knuckle." That is where we stopped. I keep accidentally calling it "The Brass Knuckle."

Kierra got a yummy-looking Shirley Temple! My drink involved vodka.

Casey has friends who work at the Knuckle (Casey has friends all over the Black Hills), and he asked them to wash all our flatware. So, fine.

After Sturgis, we all traveled to Spearfish. I picked up the books, the map, and the roses. I was worried about the roses, because they had been delivered two days ahead of schedule, and I didn't want them to die before the wedding day. (Frantic emailing to wholesaler, with concerns and questions, took place.)

Here's the cute gas station in Casey's neighborhood.

Stopped for gas in Spearfish, then STILL had to stop back in Sturgis to retrieve the flatware from The Knuckle.

When I arrived back at the farm, all I wanted was to sleep, but instead I had to trim hundreds of pink and yellow roses, and put them all in water, to prevent wilting. It took hours. At least MB called, so we could chat during part of the chore.

(Thank goodness cell phone coverage has improved so much out there in the last few years! The ability to talk and email on the phone during these last few wedding prep days, was crucial.)

So, with the whiff of a rose and the prick of a thorn, the month of August in the year 2011 came to an end.

Long-Winded Discussion of 'Downton Abbey' That I Totally Intended To Be Short-Winded

2012-01-09T18:36:00.000-08:00

If I try to create a well-written, thoughtful "analysis" of Downton Abbey, my standards will be too high for me to ever write anything. So I started writing this post by trying to dedicate it to gossip about the most recent episode (S:2-E:1). But then it accidentally turned into "everything I ever wanted to say about Downton Abbey."

So this post will be about everything I ever wanted to say about Downton Abbey, and will include reflections about S:2-E:1.

If you haven't watched series one, and this latest episode, FYI: spoilers.

That Time That I Discovered Downton Abbey

I just completed a search in my own blog, and am disappointed to discover that I never said anything (not one thing!) about how "Downton Abbey rulz and you should all watch it, etc." Downton Abbey first came to my notice via Jennifer Ehle's tweets. (Yes, I follow the actor who portrayed Elizabeth Bennet in the renown 1995 BBC miniseries version of Pride and Prejudice; she is neat.) My response went something like this: "'Downton Abbey,' eh? That sounds English-y! I bet I'd like it!" It was no longer airing on PBS, but I discovered the entire first series was streaming on Netflix. So I sat on my bed and watched S:1, E:1 on my laptop. Then I watched E:2. MB came in the room and watched parts of E:3 and E:4 with me and I tried to remind him of the time when he visited Minneapolis and we saw Gosford Park at the Lagoon Theater. Then I started E:5. Then MB fell asleep. Then I finished E:6...and um, E:7. Then I was heartbroken to discover that I had reached the end of Series 1 and would have to suffer for TEN EXCRUCIATING MONTHS before Series 2 would air on PBS. Suffer, I tell you!

Anyway, all that stuff happened on 20 February 2011.

So last night was the much-anticipated first episode of the second series!

And here's what I where I want to begin the discussion: I don't agree with the hatred for Lady Mary. (Oh, it's out there! Just Google "I hate Lady Mary!") I've always loved her. If Lady Mary is a bitch, then hoorah for bitches! There's a difference between being a bitch and being evil. If you want evil, then Mrs. Bates, newly arrived on the scene, is the perfection of evil. When she referred to Mr. Bates as "my Bates-es," I felt seriously icky inside.

Anyway, so on that note, let's start with...

Mary and Matthew

Mrs. Hughes spoke the sentiment of many in this episode when she criticized Lady Mary to Mr. Carson: "She refused him when she thought he'd have nothing, and when he was heir again, she wanted him back." But this is a simplistic take on the whims of Lady Mary. Her first fiance, cousin to her and the heir presumptive to the Earldom of Grantham, dies in the sinking of the Titanic, and not only does she not mourn him, it's trying for her to even adorn herself with the draperies of mourning (ie. wear black). This breeds resentment in her sister, Lady Edith, who is said to have loved Lady Mary's fiancee/their cousin. But why should Lady Mary act as if she's devastated to lose a fiancee who she didn't love? And why should not Mary enter into an engagement that is entirely engineered by her family, which had probably been planned since the time that it became (presumably) clear that Lord (Robert) and Lady Grantham (Cora) would not have any more children? Even Robert and Cora discuss the fact that they were not in love when they married, but then later happily became so. The story offers no indication that Edith's love for her cousin was requited, and that Mary was viciously keeping them apart out of selfish reasons, or even that Mary knew about it.

When Mary meets the new heir presumptive, Matthew Crawley, she behaves snobbishly and is generally unwelcoming. It's immature, but not altogether unexpected behavior toward the person who shall displace her in wealth and position, just because he was born with a penis. Who wouldn't feel pissed off about that? She later acknowledges to Matthew, how wrong it was of her to behave that way. (When has that little brat Edith ever admitted she was wrong for doing anything?!) Matthew certainly didn't deserve it, and for a long time feels ambivalent toward the prospect of inheriting the mighty estate and title, even to the degree that he behaves somewhat disrespectfully toward members of the establishment, upstairs and downstairs. Maybe it was his rebellious spirit - one that eventually grows into a sort of admiration for his future responsibility - that appeals to Mary, who has always worried that she doesn't want or love the things, the life, and people that "normal ladies" want and love, when she realizes she's falling in love with him. Mary, who fears deep down that she is perverse and therefore, unlovable. Who makes best friends with the head butler and her lady's maid, rather than her own sister.

It is devastating for Matthew to feel like he's been handled like a puppet by the family at Downton, to realize that Mary, who he loves, would hesitate to marry him when it appears that he may not inherit the estate after all. Which brings me back to Mrs. Hughes' complaint about Mary. For a woman whose first engagement was engineered with the purpose of opportunity and keeping the wealth and the title in the family, who was released from the prospect of marrying a man she did not love, when he died, it ought to be natural that considering Matthew, who she actually loves, in light of only his personal wealth and comparably meager solicitor position, may cause Mary to hesitate. Did she really love Matthew, or was she just complying with her family's wishes when she agreed to marry him? Could she truly separate herself from the notion of becoming the mistress of Downton Abbey after years of her family planning for her to do so? It wasn't that she didn't want Matthew when she thought he might not be the heir after all. Considering the puppetry that they'd both experienced, and which she had been experiencing all her life, Mary was as she said she was: confused.

This is what makes good drama. Mary's feelings of confusion and hesitation are natural, as are Matthew's subsequent feelings of humiliation and betrayal. To reject his love, based on money and a title, even if he knows that she loves him and even if he knows that it's not entirely her fault, is unacceptable. To wrest control of his life in this form from the Downton family, Matthew breaks it off with Mary for good at the end of the first series. Which of course, makes for a second series filled with luscious, aching longing!

*rubs hands together in anticipation*

With that, finally I come to the other of Mary's sins: sabotaging Edith's likely engagement to Sir Anthony. Mary is supposedly a mega-bitch for "ruining Edith's chance at happiness," but it was in response to Edith's work in spreading the rumor of Kemal Pamuk's death in Mary's boudoir, effectively ruining Mary's own chances of marrying advantageously. (Not that revenge is "okay.") Yet all I hear about on the 'net is how Mary is horrible for doing this! Or in other words, for sabotaging Edith's chance at marrying an old man who doesn't even respect or love Edith enough to ask her in person if she said the things about him that Mary implies. Of happiness, that situation does not bespeak! It was wrong of Mary, but at the same time, it was also a (very) wrong way to do a right thing.

Edith

But seriously, poor Edith! The lesser shining star, the invisible middle child! She tries, but everything she does comes off as not quite right. She wants to play the desirable, elegant lady, but is swiftly overthrown by the very least of Mary's efforts. She wants to be independent and revolutionary (in her own way, by learning to drive and working on a nearby farm) like their younger sister Sybil, but instead becomes carried away by an inappropriate romance with a married farmer, and is effectively banned from the farm. When Mr. Carson collapses from what appears to be a heart attack, and Edith behaves by distressing over her ruined gown, it is very difficult for feel sympathy for Edith. I hope series two will bring some better opportunities for growth for Edith. Or at least an even juicier storyline. (A married farmer, Edith!)

Sybil

Their younger sister Sybil can be a little boring, because she has yet to display any kind of human deficiencies. Still, it's fun to see the changes in politics and women's rights taking place in that era, through her character. While Mary feels stifled by the role she's expected to play, Sybil easily embraces changes brought not just by society, but by the war. Of course she'd want to take nursing training in order to work at the local hospital for injured soldiers! I loved the scene where Cora, spying on her daughter in the kitchen with Mr. Carson, is brought to tears with pride and happiness for her daughter, while Mr. Carson frets about the inappropriateness of the situation. Oh, and please tell me that Sybil eventually gets with Branson, the hot, revolutionary chauffer! (JK. Don't tell me that yet. No spoilers!) (Oh, but it must happen! Go Sybil!)

Baddies

Aside from the appearance of Mrs. Bates, series two brings back the downstairs baddies from series one: Thomas the footman, now a soldier experiencing the horrors of trench warfare in France, and O'Brien, Cora's lady's maid and engineer of the bathtub-soap miscarriage. Ugh, at the end of series one, when O'Brien leaves the bathroom, after positioning that bar of soap, and looks in the mirror and says "Sarah O'Brien, this is not you," all I could think was "Yes it is, you miserable asshole! This is what you've become!" She feebly attempts to warn her lady, but the damage has been done. Not sure if I've quite forgiven Downton Abbey for Lady Cora's miscarriage.

The affection that O'Brien and Thomas have for each other has mystified me, as the characters are not particularly demonstrative. Especially Thomas, who pretty much constantly looks like a bastard. But it shouldn't, as the actions of each character can best be explained by the following philosophy: "My utter self-loathing can only be expressed by the sadistic enjoyment I feel in causing tumult and misery in other people's lives." (It reminds me of Mad Men's Betty, when she manipulated her married friend into having an affair with a mutual male friend. It seemed pointless until you consider that fucking with other people was her only option for taking a break from hating herself and her life.) No wonder Thomas and O'Brien feel a sense of camaraderie and even friendship. I am frustrated that Cora continues to love and rely on O'Brien so much, and that O'Brien doesn't seem so remorseful anymore about causing another woman's miscarriage. Not that she would go around crying into her apron constantly, but perhaps that she would be a little less of a manipulative ho-bag? Instead she seems to be up to her old games, starting with eavesdropping on Isobel and Sybil's conversation about nursing training. On the other hand, S:2-E:1 presented another side of O'Brien, when she demonstrates compassion for Robert's shellshocked new valet, Lang. (Damn you, Downton Abbey! Don't complicate my feelings of distaste for O'Brien!)

Similarly, Thomas shows a softer side of himself as well, in caring for the officer who has been blinded, at the local hospital, and then weeping unabashedly when the latter commits suicide. Still, Thomas will behave despicably, starting with purposely getting his hand blown off, in order to get out of the trenches (I thought soldiers were brought to trial for that sort of thing?), and then sniping maliciously at Downton's current staff, and about Downton's absent staff. And why is it that a family that was ready to sack him at the end of series one, for accusing Mr. Bates of the theft of wine perpetrated by himself, is making such efforts to secure him in a position at an officer's hospital? Are they suffering from amnesia?! Anyway, Thomas, you continue to suck so much, you're almost as evil as Mrs. Bates. Which brings me to...

Mr. Bates and Anna

Oh, for exquisite sadness! I just want to cuddle both of them and tell them that everything will be alright. (Everything will be alright, right?! It has to!)

Mrs. Patmore

She's so much fun when she's not slowly going blind, am I right? (Heehee, go ahead and feed leftover crepes to the dogs rather than give them to the saucy new maid, if you think it's right!) It's too bad about her nephew, though.

Lady Violet, Dowager Countess vs. Isobel Crawley

Still delightful and hilarious.

Sir Richard Carlisle

Ugh, Mary. Don't marry him! He's perfectly horrid.

Lavinia Swire

Matthew's shiny new fiancee. Mary decided not to tell Matthew she loves him, for Lavinia's sake. Interesting, there. Either she is being magnanimous, in a self-serving martyr sort of way, or she perceived that Lavinia and Matthew's love for each other is pure, and doesn't want to complicate it, or embarrass herself.

And Finally...

The First World War

It's bringing change! And not just by replacing footmen with maids in the dining room and inspiring chauffers to propose to ladies! Real sacrifices are being made, people! Lady Mary wore the SAME dinner gown in one episode! Also, apparently Downton is going to be turned into a convalescent home.

Exciting things are underway.

My Best Friend's Fabulous New Year's Eve Wedding!

2012-01-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

On December 29th, MB and I traveled to Minnesota in order to attend a wedding that I have been greatly looking forward to for months: the wedding of my best friend (and Woman of Honor in my wedding), Samantha! We arrived in the early evening, ran some errands (we had to buy a cake knife and server for the wedding), and then met friends Joey and Bonnie for dinner and drinks in Northeast Minneapolis.

Friday:

On the next day, we drove toward the North Shore of Lake Superior, to the wedding location at Grand Superior Lodge. Just out of Two Harbors, MN, the Lodge nestled on the shore of the Lake, tucked between Castle Danger (pronounced: Castle Dane-jah!) and Gooseberry Falls State Park. Listened to NPR and did the Strib crossword during the drive. When we hit Duluth, I made us listen to this.

This (below) is our "lake house room" at Grand Superior Lodge. We had just held our own wedding and were buying plane tickets for me for October, and for us for this NYE trip, when I made the reservation, so we didn't feel like splurging on the room. If we were, we would have gotten one of the lake house rooms that feature a hot tub! Totally regretting that. We could have swung it! But the room we had was fine, with a spacious bathroom, mini-fridge and coffeemaker. All the essentials. Plus, that sweet North Woods Decor that I see everywhere once I venture north of Duluth.

The main theme for our room was "moose and acorns." MB and I had some fun joking about the cheesy wallpaper and bric-a-brac, but I've come to regard this kind of decor as legitimately honorable and/or representative of the region; I love it.

Soon after arriving at GSL, I had to change and fix my hair, and then meet Samantha and the rest of the wedding party in the ballroom for the Wedding Rehearsal. After demurring about whether he would come by, MB showed up with the cake knife and server, and then agreed to stick around, which was nice, because then he could take some photos of the rehearsal.

Samantha and her father Sam. It's cute how they look so much alike.

Practicing the ceremony, on the patio outside the ballroom. Directly on the shore of Lake Superior!

I neglected to take a photo of my outfit, but for the sake of my own records, I wore this cute, black, long-sleeved top that I found on sale at Anthro a few weeks ago, and the cream-colored skirt with black pinstripes that I wore to my bridal shower. Black tights, giant heels, awesomeness.

After the rehearsal, it was time to join the wedding party and close family members for the Groom's Dinner, at The Rustic Inn Cafe, located just 1/4 mi. south of GSL. There was a Groom's Dinner menu featuring many delicious items, but when I saw the Shepherd's Pie, my mind was made up.

I'm telling you Blogosphere, it was scrumptious. I also enjoyed a supposedly local (MN) red wine with my dinner, but I can't remember the name (exactly), it's not accessible via Google, and when I called the Rustic Inn to ask them (I am serious about documentation), the lady who answered the phone yelled "Hello?!" into the phone a bunch of times (while I said "Can you hear me?") before hanging up. So perhaps it will have to remain a mystery.

Our Groom's Dinner group. Samantha hired the ceremony musician, Dan Rodriguez, to play for the first part of the night's dinner, as a surprise for Darin. He was great! When he played "Hallelujah," Samantha and Darin cutely got up to dance.

Below, MB's typical expression, when I am pointing a camera at him and we're in public so he can't yell at me to not do so:

Groomsman Dave and I, playing Camera Tag:

Samantha and Darin thanked everyone for coming, and then handed out the wedding party gifts. My gift consisted of the faux fur wrap and muff that I would be wearing in the ceremony the next evening, elbow-length black leather gloves (also for the ceremony), and a beautiful gold vintage bracelet with purple stones and clusters of pearls.

After the gifts, it was time for pie! The Rustic Inn Cafe sells homemade pies on the premises. I had a slice of the Five Layer Chocolate pie and MB had the Raspberry Cream Pie. The chocolate was yummy, but the raspberry cream pie was amazing. Win for MB.

After dinner, I joined Samantha and Amy (wife of Groomsman Dave) in the ballroom, to assist with the finishing touches. Amy draped the fabric backdrop for the head table, and I picked out rocks and acorns to decorate the other tables. Then Samantha went over the things that needed to be done the next day with Amy (wisely not trusting the GSL staff to get everything right), and showed us the gorgeous brooch bouquet she ordered custom from a seller on Etsy. She also ordered the corsages and boutonnieres (which also each featured a vintage brooch) from the same seller; we set them out on the table for the wedding party and family to find the next day. Darin came in with another groomsman/usher to work on stringing up the lights from the ceiling.

After finishing in the ballroom, Samantha and I went upstairs to join family and peeps in the Splashing Rock Lounge. MB was socializing with Samantha's father Sam, and making best friends with the bartender. I had a drink, and then Samantha and I joined the party of Darin's pals, plus Carrie Ann (one of Samantha's personal attendants) and her husband, in one of the other lake houses. Some of the lake houses at GSL can be rented by groups of people - they feature living areas, kitchens, hot tubs!, and decks - this was one such house. When Samantha and I arrived, we were immediately set up with buttershots! Yay!

We visited for a while. I enjoyed a glass of Carrie Ann's cranberry wine. We took photos, and then Samantha and Darin decided to crash for the night. I decided to find my husband. He was hanging out with Samantha's family and South Dakota family friends in the lake house across the way from ours. Once there, Lindsey set me up with a Crown and Coke and MB insisted I try the pickled herring. It wasn't bad! I had to laugh heartily about being in Minnesota and there being a plastic pickled herring Party Pail on the counter.

Did you know that pickled herring comes in a Party Pail?! Well, now you do.

I'm not going to say that there was a game of quarters going on between (S's sister) Lindsey, (S's cousin) Mary Jo, (S's BIL) Ryan, MB, and a couple family friends Dale and Bonnie(?), but I'm not going to say that there wasn't. Also, I shall not indicate whether I actually unwisely drank two Crown and Cokes instead of one, before retiring to my room "early" (at 2:30 AM).

Back in the room, I tried to write a toast for the next night, but just ended up with about five different versions I somehow couldn't find a way to wrap up. (Why I didn't write a toast before: I'd thought, per previous indications from Samantha, that there were not going to be "official toasts." Plus, the sisters and I sort of took turns playing the "Woman of Honor" role, and I was confused until Friday night, about whether Lindsey or Nicole would be toasting. So at the rehearsal, S&D mentioned that there would be time set aside for toasts. Nicole (S's other sister) told me she wouldn't be toasting and Lindsey said she was on the fence. With all of that, AND after the beautiful toast that Samantha delivered at my wedding, I decided to do the same for her.)

Anyway, by the time MB returned from ~~playing quarters~~ the other lake house, I decided that I could try to finish it the next day, and that I needed sleeeeeeeep.

Saturday:

I obeyed my alarm, sometime after 7 AM, and managed to get myself dressed, made-up, and armed with the mimosa ingredients that Samantha and I had stashed in our mini-fridge the night before, in time to take a couple of photos of the lovely early morning lake. Then I met Samantha, Lindsey and Nicole in the lobby so we could all leave for the salon. It's not a wedding if I'm not waking up as the ass crack of dawn to get my hair did!

Pretty lake!

We picked up a million pastries at the grocery store on the way to The New Hairitage in Two Harbors.

At The New Hairitage, Samantha's stylist was ready and waiting, as were The Paparazzi - two videographers and the official wedding photographer. Molly was already in the other chair, getting her hair done. I whipped up mimosas for Samantha and I, and then sat down next to Nicole and Lindsey to look through the up-do books and make fun of the expressions on the models faces.

The male videographer came over the N&L to harass them about saying something to the camera. I was thinking "of course you are male - they haven't even put on makeup yet and you want them to be on camera?!" I was feeling hostile toward his pressuring techniques (could the messages not wait until they were all dressed and looking pretty?), which ended up working on N&L, but when it became clear that he was only interested in talking to the sisters, my feelings turned both relieved and indignant. "I would NOT have given in that pressure!" vs. "I'll just hang out over here, being chopped liver!"

It will be awesome for Samantha to have a video and photographic record of her time in the salon, but I have to say the videographers did rather prevent us from having much of an intimate/humorous conversation with the Bride. Small trade-off for the indelible record, I suppose!

After doing a beautiful job on Samantha's hair, the stylist did her make up as well. Make up is tricky, so much that I don't trust anyone to do mine, not even on my wedding day, but her stylist did an excellent, tasteful job. Since I was more impressed with Samantha's lady, I waited until she was available to get my hair done.

Because I always have had up-dos at weddings, and because the neckline on my dress was (unintentionally) a bit lower than was comfortable for me, I'd been debating wearing my hair down for this wedding. I imagined a 60's-style pouf on top, with the rest of the hair straightened. But I was worried that the stylist wouldn't think that it would hold all day and night, or that she would be confused about my directions, so I debated chickening out and getting the standard up-do. I'm so glad that I decided to go for the fantasy, after all!

Below, Samantha puts the finishing touches on her vows! (That's the Madonna hoodie she bought during our excellent Madonna in San Diego Adventure!)

Soon after my hair was finished, (There it is below! Pretty huh?! I wish I could do my hair like that everyday!), Desiree arrived! Yay! She was Samantha's other personal attendant for the wedding. And while I'd been in the chair, Samantha's Junior Bridesmaids and future MIL arrived to get their hair done as well.

Cute curls and little girl up-dos!

N&L left, and soon the photographer was driving Desiree, Samantha and I back to GSL. There was quite a bit of conversation and confusion about whether to eat lunch first, then get dressed, vice versa, and then how to get to the lake house where the ladies would be getting dressed - and retrieve the wedding gown and accoutrements - without Darin seeing Samantha. This was complicated by the fact that Darin and Samantha's stuff was in the process of being moved into the Honeymoon Suite for that night. Chaos! Chaos! I managed intercept the majority of the stuff and haul it to the lake house. The dress was delivered there, and Samantha scooped up her shoes. Soon all the stuff and people were in the correct location! Initially, I'd tried to be business-like and hurry people, because we were behind schedule (and that is what Samantha had done for me on my wedding day), but when it became clear that my efforts were utterly futile (too much interference, unlike on my wedding day), and that I just seemed bitchy, I gave up. Walked over to my lake house and called a still-sleeping MB to come open the door, as I'd apparently forgotten my key that morning. Grabbed my dress and underthings, and returned to dress myself and help dress Samantha.

Well, dressing Samantha was a group effort! Though Desiree did most of the work. It was fun, bringing together all the elements of Samantha's beautiful gown and accessories - the black leather gloves, the sparkling broach on the shoulder. I retrieved my nail clippers from my makeup bag so Dez and I could trim some strings from the end of the sash.

We are Wedding MacGyvers!

Rather than hand it to Desiree, I put Samantha's gorgeous bracelet around her wrist myself. The symmetry of the act was touching for me; I'd thought it was so sweet on my wedding day, when she surprised me by lending me her gold diamond bracelet, and then put it on my wrist.

Most brides don't need long johns, snow boots and snow pants on their wedding day!

After Samantha was dressed, the photographers and videographers recorded footage of Samantha in the livingroom - the large picture window displaying Lake Superior was the perfect backdrop. Darin arrived, and we all engineered the "reveal moment," or whatever you call it. Then while they took more photos of the couple, Desiree and I walked to the main Lodge to get the Subway sandwiches, and some chips and drinks for Samantha and other people back at the lake house. For me too, because I'd been absently breaking into some random Cheezits that were on the counter in the kitchen, and mercilessly snacking on them.

Duh, of course Samantha and I had to recreate the Romantic Sandwich Picture from my wedding!

I returned to my room in the our lake house to finish putting myself together: teeth brushing, eyelash curling, frantic plan-making on the phone with Desiree-having... There was a bit of miscommunication about when I was supposed to travel over to Gooseberry Falls with the rest of the wedding party for photos, but in the end, everything worked out! MB would drive me - problem solved. He'd decided to get out of bed and take photos of me getting ready, I'm sure because he shares my passion for recording life's precious moments and not at all because he enjoys ridiculing the arcane art of combing mascara clumps out of one's eyelashes.

He also thankfully whipped up a pot of coffee, which I realized my semi-irritable constitution had been craving all morning. Managed to throw a cup down my throat before we scooted out the door.

Arrived just in time to walk down to the photo location with the other peeps!

We took the wedding party photos, and the "Bride/Groom with Individual Wedding Party Member" photos in front of these falls. No videographers this time, just the official photographer and another photographer pal of hers. (So, two fun lady photographers.) I can't wait to see how the photos turn out; I'm sure they'll be amazing. Samantha and Darin definitely did a fantastic job of optimizing the beauty of a winter wedding. We were ALL so happy that the weather cooperated. It was cold, but not miserably cold, snowy, but not too snowy. No storms, and the roads were safe on the journey north. They couldn't have planned for anything better!

Well, Lindsey and Nicole did think it was a little too cold!

Beautiful Bride, at Beautiful, Frozen Gooseberry Falls!

When it was time to leave, I rode with Jason, Molly and Dave back to the Lodge. I called MB to ask him to bring my heels. ("Which shoes?" "The ones you think look like hooker heels.") I'd been wearing my tall black boots while we took photos in the snow. Then Lindsey and I grabbed some safety pins from the front desk, and headed to the Ladie's for some obligatory dress/bra pinning. I worked on Lindsey, and then fixed myself up. MB arrived outside the door with my stripper heels (these cute shoes), and told me that some dear friends of mine were in the Lounge! So I went to say "Hi!" to Katy, John, Katie, Heather and Chris! (Yay! More friends!)

Back in the main lobby, S&D and family members were taking photos in front of the GSL's gorgeous Christmas decorations: a giant, decorated tree, and garland, lights and ribbon everywhere. I sat by, because it was said that I would be needed for more photos. Not wanting to infringe on the photographer's work, I just snapped a quick couple of shots of the scene without the flash.

While this was happening, I greeted Maria S, who had arrived. Then Desiree and I sat in the computer room off to the side to chat for a bit. My feet had started to ache and I was a big fan of the sitting. Finally we did a couple of photos of the entire wedding party by the tree, and then it was all over. Guests had gone downstairs to line up, and start taking their seats, and the wedding party met in the ballroom to prepare for the processional.

I'd gone back to the Lounge during all the photography to give MB, who was talking to S's Uncle Harvey, my camera. He (MB, not Uncle Harvey) very sweetly and diligently took some shots of the ceremony for me.

A row of pals:

See the lake! The lake! Katie said she could hear the waves lapping. The ceremony location was beautiful. (I know I'm saying that everything is "beautiful," but everything WAS beautiful!) (Hm, love that mint green iPhone 4 case, Katie!)

This is Kim's (S and her sisters' friend) little son Brody. What a cutie.

And the wedding procession starts! Here's Groomswoman Molly, Ring Bearer (S's nephew/N's son) Connor, and Woman of Honor Nicole:

See the pretty vintage brooch and fabric corsages?!

Time for Groomsman Dave (friend of Darin) and Woman of Honor Me to march! Since Samantha had given me a gold bracelet and chose a gold brooch-corsage for me, I decided to just wear the Omega necklace that I wore in my wedding.

Sam and Samantha! One of the brooches on Samantha's bouquet was a tiny framed photo of her mother Cheryll, who passed away from breast cancer in June 2005. The bouquet was decorated with and draped with ribbons the color of pink, the official color for Breast Cancer Awareness. In the years since Cheryll has been gone, the color has also become a symbol, a way for Samantha and her sisters to remember her.

Dan Rodriguez, the musician from the night before, sang and played "I Will Not Take My Love Away," on his guitar.

Regarding the pastor, I shall merely state that he read the Ephesians passage about wives submitting to their husbands and definitely not the other way around (while I sternly coached myself to Not Make Faces), and allow you to conclude on your own, exactly what I thought about that/him.

It had been cold at the same time the night before, but the wrap and muff were warm, and I think I was so distracted by the ceremony, and perhaps benefiting from the adrenaline, thanks to my part of the show, that despite my bare upper arms, I didn't feel cold during the ceremony at all!

The Tree Planting Unity Ceremony - I like this one a lot. MB and I ruled it out for ourselves since we don't own a house with a yard. (Yet.) Dan Rod sang "Till The End Of Our Days."

Vows. Samantha and Darin included their own written vows, which definitely made the ceremony more special. Samantha's vows had both funny and emotional moments. ...She got choked up very cutely while delivering them.

One of the neatest parts of the ceremony: for wedding favors, the guests received fleece blankets wrapped up with a "Thank You!" note and sparklers, in ribbon. Before presenting Samantha and Darin as married, the pastor had the crowd light up their sparklers! So pretty!

Here they are! Woman and Husband:

Below, Woman of Honor Lindsey and Best Man Jason (D's brother) walk back during the recessional. Samantha was so distracted that she forgot to retrieve her bouquet from Lindsey.

The recessional song was Dan Rod singing the guitar acoustic version of Katy Perry's "Firework." (LOVED that. So cute!) Followed by "Here Comes The Sun," which I didn't hear, because I was already in the Lodge by then.

Back in the building, we slowly gathered and then mingled with the crowd for the cocktail hour. I had a good time talking to friends - greeting Laura and Todd, who I hadn't seen yet - and nervously thinking about what I was going to say for my toast. MB got me a drink. Grabbed a smoke salmon canape. Grabbed an eggplant fritter. MB spent a ton of time hanging out with my friend's husbands, which made me happy. I want him to know, and like them all. At one point I sacrificed a safety pin from my bodice in the effort of pinning up part of Samantha's bustle, which had come undone.

More Happy Talking, More Nervous Thinking.

When cocktail hour ended, the guests found their seats, and the wedding party lined up for the Grand Entrance. This time I entered with Jason instead of Dave.

The song for the grand entrance: C + C Music Factory "Gonna Make You Sweat"

I had to work myself up to dancing through the entrance, by bobbing up and down while we waited. (I am kind of shy when it comes to stuff like that, Blogosphere!) But I managed to bring the fun, with some help from purposely dorky dance moves. (Purposely, I tell you!) Danced straight into Dez's arms, so she could give my bashful self a hug. After that, I was protected by the entire dancing crowd, so it was okay to do some more dancing...

...while we waited for the Bride and Groom...

...and their Hot Dance Moves!

Entrance complete, everyone took their seats so Samantha and Darin could do their First Dance. MB was seated right next to the dancefloor, and the head table was in the back, so I settled on his lap in order to take photos of the first dance. Cozy.

First Dance Song: "Hallelujah"

They took dance lessons in order to prepare for the First Dance. I thought they looked flawless, but according to Samantha, there were a few mistakes. No stepping on anyone's feet, though!

The dance lessons were also special because for their first Valentine's Day together, Darin bought them a series of dance classes, which they then took for a couple years. He even showed me a couple steps on NYE 2009.

Then the cake-cutting!

Then we sat down at the Head Table. My place was next to Samantha. I tried to jot down last minute toast thoughts on my iPhone without her seeing.

I'd been in the middle of ordering my drink, "The Bride's Drink" - a Raspberry Mojito, when I was called to gather for the grand entrance. Maria sweetly collected my drink, and I was thankful to arrive at the Head Table to find it waiting there for me.

I still had to do my toast. I needed a drink.

The Cake Table!

There was a slight kerfuffle with the food, in that it was not prepared at the time that the Lodge had promised it would be prepared. I used the time to think more about my toast. And the food? I have two wonderful words: BURGER BAR.

There was a BURGER BAR! With burger patties fresh off the grill (located outside on the patio)! And ALL the fixins. Oh, and also? There was a POTATO BAR.

A POTATO BAR! I LOVE POTATOES!

Suffice it to say, I was more than happy with my meal. There was also a Pasta Bar, but buffet-style pasta isn't as special for me as freshly grilled burgers and mashed potatoes, and there's no way I would have had room in my tummy for all that. Oh, and there was a salad bar, but there's no way in hell I'm going to fill up on salad when there's burgers and mashed potatoes to be eaten.

What I put on my burger: slice of bleu cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles (not thrilled to later discover they were sweet pickles, had to pull them out), ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise (I was feeling decadent), GRILLED ONIONS, and GRILLED MUSHROOMS. Yum!

What I put on my mashed potatoes: shredded provolone, chives, bacon, and flavored sour cream. Yummy Yum Yum.

Yeah, I ate all the burger, except for the pickles and some of the bread. Nearly scarfed the potatoes, too, but I could barely fit the parts with the toppings, so I stopped eating when I ran out of toppings. Special occasion, yo. Plus, I hadn't eaten much in the last two days, specifically with the aim of ingesting the majority of my calories during dinner.

As we finished the entrees, guests received slices of cake. My slice was from the delicious chocolate cake. (It was so good, I wish I could have eaten more!)

Then it was time for the toasts! Duhn duhn duhn! Jason gave a nice toast (I think. I was very preoccupied.) And then Molly gave a sweet, hilarious toast. (I could tell, because I heard people laugh.) And then it was time for me. For some reason, every time I'd tried to write out what I was going to say, I couldn't form the right conclusion. I mean, I knew the conclusion (so happy for you, honored to stand up for you, let's raise a glass, etc), but I couldn't find a way to get there from the "this is how and why Samantha is a special person to me and in general" part. But I'd been thinking about the phrases for the last 48 hours over and over and I just felt that this was one of the rare occasions when I couldn't make sense using the written word, and that it would all come together when I just tried to speak out loud.

And I was right. I briefly hit on all the things that I'd wanted to say, especially the part covering the best things about Samantha's character and how important she was to me, how happy Darin made her, and how she deserved to always feel that way. It flowed out in perfectly grammatically correct sentences and I caught myself saying the word "like" (in the way that you know that I mean, argh) only one time! I was so relieved that I was able to pull it together for Samantha.

Oh, and I totally bawled. Of course. (Sigh.) Totally got tears in my eyes when I typed the paragraph above, too. (Good grief, Amanda.)

Phew!

Then it was time for the slide show! Great photos. I also took the opportunity to capture the ceiling decor.

Samantha and Darin, watching the slideshow. I like to get this photo because usually in these cases everyone is preoccupied with watching the slideshow, and not the Bride and Groom. (I can't allow the bride and groom to go unpaparazzied!)

I loved the display of family photos, including old wedding photos, that they put up. The right side of the table has a larger photo of Cheryll.

The Table Symbol Meanings! Guests found their tables partly by matching the symbols on their place setting cards. Cute!

Samantha ordered the cute guestbook from a seller on Etsy. It was set up next to the photobooth and photo props. (The photobooth/props is the same idea that I used at my reception, but I am certain Samantha knew about it before I had my wedding - not that it matters either way. It's kind of the hot thang right now. Every wedding should have one, I say! It's so fun.)

So the slideshow ended and the dancing began, and suddenly I was looking around and I could not locate my husband! Or some of the other men! So I grabbed Katy and we went outside to look for them in the Ice Bar.

Yes, the Ice Bar. Or technically, the GSL's "Blu Ice Bar." So cool, right? (Not just temperature-wise.) It had been open the night before, but we hadn't had a chance to check it out before it closed at 9 PM. For NYE, however, it was open until 12:30 AM. Katy and I felt it would be wise to go out to the Ice Bar without our coats or any wraps whatsoever.

Fur-lined seating in the Ice Bar!

Of course, the guys were totally out at the Ice Bar. I'd been looking forward to seeing it ever since Samantha told me about it months before, so I decided to stay and have a drink. John was ordering up Blu Volcanoes everyone! They had dry ice in them, and the consisted (I imagine) of vodka, a million grams of sugar and blue dye. Heehee, yummy though!

I actually survived for longer than one would think without a coat in the Ice Bar!

Performance Adrenaline, man.

Soon Katie, Maria, Laura, Heather and Desiree found us in the Ice Bar. Todd gave me his jacket, but after a while I felt guilty, and returned it to him. I walked back to the Lodge to retrieve my coat, but I knew I had to gather the peeps and get them back to the party. There was a street dance going on around the corner in town when I was having my wedding reception, and I would not have been happy if my guests had disappeared to go hang out there instead.

I was way too amused by the fact that there were ads carved into the ice.

View of the Lodge, from the entrance of the Ice Bar. The falling snow was a surprise to me. It must have started after the ceremony ended. It made the night seem so wonderful and magical and perfect.

Back at the dance!

Connor and Devin (son of aforementioned Kim)

Connor, dancing along with his big brother Alec!

Some group line-dancing!

Slow dancing!

At one point during "Unchained Melody" they were doing the thing where they take people off the dancefloor based on how long you've been married. MB and I were up there for a millisecond.

MB and John!

Katy and AM!

Lady Friends!

Laura, Desiree, Samantha, Amanda, Heather, Maria, Katie and Katy

Neat Samantha Shot!

At this point, things were getting a little cray-cray! (KATIE!)

There's so much about this night that I can't write in the blog post. Really, SO MUCH talking and dancing and drinking. Believe me, our crowd was having fun. But I've got to censor it a little, because, you know. Public blog. Suffice it to say, soon we found ourselves just a few songs away from counting down the start of the new year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012!!!

What follows is some more Serious Getting Down.

In fact, I'm going to let the next few images speak for themselves.

Time for Samantha and Darin's last dance of the night (wherein everyone else got to dance, too)! Another play of "Hallelujah." Made MB dance with me. The only other (sorta) slow dance we'd had was when I'd thrown down the late night snack I'd been working on (Swedish Meatballs and lefsa) in order to drag him out to the dancefloor for George Strait's "Amarillo By Morning."

After the Last Dance, I was surprised and delighted to hear a CSB/SJU classic: "Piano Man." I haven't yet discovered if that was requested by Honorary Bennie Samantha, or one of CSB/SJUers in the crowd. Suffice it to say, of course we got in a circle to sing and sway. It was so fun.

After the dance ended, some of us hadn't yet taken our photobooth photos for the guestbook. So we gathered to take a few with my camera, and H&C's camera. Then it turned into a group picture smorgasbord. I'll just post a few though:

Managed to grab just one more photo with my lovely BFF.

And then there was a bit of snowy running around to each other's lake houses and tipsy conversations, and it was awesome.

Sunday:

Woke up at a reasonable hour, and had enough time to shower and pack before MB stirred. Many text messages between Samantha and I, and Heather, Desiree and I. It was arranged that our Friend Crew (minus Katy, Katie, John, Todd and Laura, who all had to leave earlier) would attend the Breakfast and Gift Opening at the Rustic Inn Cafe (same location and spot in the restaurant as the Groom's Dinner). There was a bit of an incident involving MB's jacket the night before, and no one knowing where it was the next morning - and that jacket containing the rental car keys - but eventually MB solved the mystery, and all was once again right with the world!

Below, Samantha and Darin, the newly married couple! After eating they started working on the gifts.

We were ALL ravenous. This here is my big, delicious breakfast:

Here's our table. We had some fun conversations, what with telling stories about the night before, and Dez and MB's theory that the table was made out of a crocodile that had eaten an armadillo. (Huh, maybe these things are only funny when you've consumed more than one Blu Volcano the night before?)

I had time enough after eating to take a few photos of the gift opening, but we had to get on the road soon, in order to make our flight home. Since it had snowed the night before, we'd need time to safely navigate the roads. (They weren't horrible, but the massive winds were a little scary.)

So we all said our goodbyes. I gave the couple, who are currently honeymooning in Jamaica (!), hugs and thanks, and then MB and I departed.

It was a fantastic wedding and fantastic little vacation.

The kind of fun and love with friends that fills you up inside.

*happy sniffle*

Small Child Skillfully Summarizes One Of My Pet Feminist Rants

2011-12-24T14:29:00.000-08:00

Heehee, via Jezebel:

Her dad sounds tired.

I recently re-read my Gendered Toys post from last year, and I'm happy to discover that I'm proud of it. Sometimes it's hard for a editor-less blogger to determine how well they are conveying their point, until enough time has passed. Otherwise you just end up reading your memory in your head, along with the real post.

Baby, It's Cold Outside, But I'm Not Saying That In Order To Imply That You Should Sleep With Me Out Of Fear Or A Sense Of Obligation, I Am Truly Concerned About Your Health

2011-12-24T11:21:00.000-08:00

While running a couple errands around town yesterday, I was writing a blog post in my head about how "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is such a cute song, except for the rape part. And how we should just change the rapey lyrics to save the song. Changing lyrics on classic Christmas tunes has been done! Sort of. There are a couple different versions of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," after all. (I prefer the Judy Garland version from Meet Me In St. Louis.) (Because it's sadder and because it's Judy.) But then when I got home, what to my G-reader-scanning eyes did appear?! The same kind of blog post, all up in here. So, with the caveat that you possibly will believe that I am a lying plagiarist of ideas (I'M NOT), here's how I plan to change the lyrics:

I was thinking that in my version the woman is trying to get the man to stay. (Snap!) But then I discovered that She & Him already did this. (Nothing about you is ever original.) Anyhoodle, lyric changes in bold.

I really can't stay - Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away - Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been - Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice - I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry - Beautiful, what's your hurry?
My father will be pacing the floor - Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry - Beautiful, please don't hurry
Well maybe just a half a drink more - Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
But, this is a swell drink... - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, ma'am - Mind if I move a little closer
Couldn't resist you, not if I tried - Later we can go for a ride
I really can't stay - Baby don't front!
Ahh, but it's cold outside...

C'mon baby

I simply must go - Baby, it's cold outside
The answer is no - Oh, well in that case if you want to go...
This welcome has been - I'm lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm -- Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious - Man, your lips look so delicious
My brother will be there at the door - Waves upon a tropical shore
My aunt's virginity is totally relevant - But if you want to go, your coat's by the door...
Well maybe just a half a drink more - The more you talk, you sound like a bore

I've got to go home - Oh, baby, you'll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb - No really, you're going to get hypothermia
You've really been grand - Your eyes are like starlight now (it's the gleam of future hypothermia)
But don't you see - How can you do this thing to me
There's bound to be talk tomorrow - Those bitches are just jealous, what a sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied - If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can't stay - Which I completely accept
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Baby it's cold outside

Brr its cold...
It's cold out there
Cant you stay awhile longer baby
Well... I really shouldn't... but who are we kidding, I totally want to stay

Make it worth your while baby (by brewing some yummy cocoa)
Ahh, brew that cocoa again...

Holy Freakin' Christmas Stuff

2011-12-22T03:25:00.000-08:00

I swear I was mentally composing scores of eloquent sentences for a future blog post while I ran around towns (Pacific Grove, Monterey, Seaside) all day today. But rather than remember any of them to type out for you, instead here I sit, whipped by the blur of Christmas Prep that has demanded nearly every hour of the last few days.

Fact: MB and I do not do anything Christmas-related until the middle of December. (Except for decorating, because I do the decorating and I like to maximize my Christmas decoration enjoyment by decorating as soon as possible after Thanksgiving (...or, shall we say...three days before Thanksgiving...).

Got the Priority 1 (ie. family) packages out. Designed, printed, wrote, stamped and mailed all the Christmas cards. Looking at the card, one wouldn't imagine that it would take one 50 MILLION YEARS to design, but it sure did take that long!

Tangent: FTLOG, retailers, SELL SOME DAMN 5x7 ENVELOPES ALREADY! My cards are 5x7 photo cards. Same as last year. NO ONE SELLS THESE EVELOPES. (Technically, I mean the 5 1/4 x 7 1/4 envelopes, FYI.) Not even f***ing paper and office supply stores like Office Max and Staples. (That's right Office Max and Staples, you suck.) Last year, out of desperation, I bought a cheap box of cards at Target, and used the envelopes. So now I have all these envelope-less Christmas cards. This year? Whaddaya know, I had to do the same damn thing. (I really need to think of some kind of use for these extra Christmas cards...) Apparently, Amazon (I see right now, as I am typing this) sells these mythic 5x7 envelopes, but naturally I forgot up until yesterday that it was difficult to find envelopes last year, and by then it was too late to order them ahead of time. Must remember this for next year. ...I mean, I would think that people needing JUST envelopes, given the advent of digital cameras and home printing, would influence retailers to offer a larger selection. (Instead, they have the 4x6, the "Christmas card size" that is 5 1/2 x 8 3/4, and the 6x9. *groan*) But noo-oo-ooo.

In between all the gift-buying, gift-wrapping and Christmas carding, Liz and I have been texting plans for Christmas dinner. MB and I are staying in Monterey again, and having dinner with Anree and Lisa, Liz and Francois, Francois' visiting mother and sister, and L&F's friend Noel. L&F's baby Helena will be here, too, but I don't need to count her in for the glazed ham. She'll happily partake of milk, and nuthin' else, thankyouverymuch.

Right, so we're having a glazed ham. Which is... Well, I love ham, but honestly the glazed ham was somewhat of an uninspired choice. We considered prime rib, but that meat is pricey, yo. (I am still going to price compare, when we go shopping for the meat, which is happening...maybe tomorrow? Huh, tomorrow, I guess! Which as I write, is actually later today, after I've slept and then had my coffee.) Last year we had lamb and Yorkshire pudding, and it was awe-some. The year before (in San Diego), MB and I had Crab Legs and BBQ ribs For Two. For this year, I was also debating making cheesy scalloped potatoes, but then The Pioneer Woman posted her Duchess Potatoes recipe, so now I am making Duchess Potatoes (thank, PW!). (Except, all the egg yolks, really? Do egg yolks make potatoes taste better? They are already potatoes. Potatoes taste amazing. ...And "heavy cream?" What about just whole milk? It would still taste yummy, right?) (Does anyone know the answer to any of those questions?)

Despite the complaints and questions in this post, readers who know will detect the underlying satisfaction I feel in being busy and focused on a series of tasks. I am happy right now. Things are good. It was so cheerful today to drive around listening to Christmas music (this music, the music that I listen to every Christmas), and then listening to more Christmas music while shopping. (Yes, happy. Despite the appearance of the crinkled eyebrows I tend to wear while figurin' things out.) It was silly-warm and sunny today, too. Over my short-sleeved t-shirt, I wore a very thin cardigan. I wore my flat-soled tall boots over skinny jeans and felt a little too hot, temperature-wise.

Times like these make me think that what I need in my life to be happy all the time are deadlines. Non-negotiable deadlines (because believe me, if there is any leeway at all, I will negotiate the shit out of those deadlines). Christmas is a non-negotiable deadline. Sending late cards and packages detracts from the fun. (I know.) Not having fun food for a Christmas dinner detracts from the fun. So I make myself do these things (despite the inevitable bit o' procrastination). With work that I do, I need non-negotiable deadlines, and I need it to be work that benefits from excruciating attention to detail and a significant investment of time. I have an unhealthy obsession with details, definitions and clear communication. Because that is what I have to offer. It will take me a Long Time to do what needs to be done, but when I'm done, that thing that I do will be perfect. Or, as perfect as I can make it.

Unfortunately with the blog, I am forced to compromise perfection with the desire to publish posts occasionally. This damn post, for example. I need to publish it, and get some sleep.

So tomorrow! The agenda will include possibly shopping for Christmas dinner items, doing a table setting rehearsal (seriously), and perhaps...picking up a couple more gifts I am missing? (Whoops.)

Did I lock the door? ... ... ... ... ... Yes.

2011-12-17T00:57:00.000-08:00

Shit Girls Say:

1. I think this is hilarious.

2. I had the browser with the video open on my computer for at least three days while I decided whether it was sexist to any degree.

3. The majority of the these phrases are not uttered exclusively by women.

4. Not totally thrilled with the trend of referred to women as "girls," but whatever. (Like in TV: "The New Girl," "2 Broke Girls")

5. Much of the reason that this is hilarious is because it's performed by a dude in drag.

6. I am still considering ways in which a woman could do an impression of stereotypical things "boys" (ie. men) say and do, while dressed as men, in a way that would be equally hilarious. I think about the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man In The World" commercials and the Old Spice soap commercials.

7. MB once made a comment to me about what the lady version of the Dos Equis commercials would be like, and I said (cynically, but I still believe it) "The lady version doesn't exist, because the things women stereotypically do aren't considered interesting. They're considered vapid, silly and shallow."

8. Hm, I could see a commercial with a woman doing many of the things that the Dos Equis guy does, like yelling the lion that's jumped on the counter while he's trying to cook something interesting, but she definitely couldn't be a Man's Lady (inverse of Ladies' Man). You know, charming the pants off of men, bedding them and then bidding them adieu. Although this isn't explicit in the commercials, the gaggle of women surrounding the Most Interesting Man in some shots implies that this is the case.

9. Can we get rid of the word "whore" for "woman who enjoys sleeping with many men," and start saying "Man's Lady" instead? I like that better.

10. I'm putting this on the blog so I can finally close the aforementioned browser window.

I need some Women's Studies majors in my life. Also, here are three songs.

2011-12-14T03:03:00.000-08:00

People that I can talk to about the things that interest and inspire me (ie. Gender Stuff). I'm tired of all my Feminist friends on the Internet being people I don't know in real life and who actually don't know that I exist because this is the Internet. I'm tired of being argued with by people who are just annoyed that I'm annoyed. I'm tired of being argued with by people who don't disagree with me. I'm tired of being argued with by people who have read a snippet of the literature that I've read on the topic. By people aren't passionately and continuously involved in learning more about the topic. I'm tired of people not thinking about what I'm saying before responding to it with denial or need for "proof." Or acting like I need to carry around a file full of scientific studies to back up what I have to say. By not thinking about how, in what way, what I'm saying might actually make sense. Because you know, I read about this stuff all damn day, but they probably know better than me, right?

Oh, waaaaahhhh. Okay, it's not all that bad. Still though, I think I need, like, to be able to join a Junior League. But for Feminists.

(I don't think those exist.)

So now that people are depressed, here's some music to make you dance and feel better. This song has been in my head for the last million hours:

And here's a song to make you feel pensive, and stricken with a vague sort of longing:

And here's one to make you go "Did she just say 'cunt'?! Like, ten times in a row?!":

(She did, indeed!)

July 2011: The Month of Wedding Planning

2011-12-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

1 July

We woke up in Spearfish this morning, after staying at Casey and Becky's house last night. I decided to drive back to the farm in Vale to retrieve our luggage and other random belongings, while MB ran errands with Casey this morning. Before leaving town, I stopped at Common Grounds coffee shop for a latte. The downtown streets were all torn up from construction, so I'd had to park a couple blocks away and walk around the rubble and machinery. On my way back to my car, some dude tried to holler at me from an obnoxious orange pickup truck. I usually ignore catcalls, but I happened to look over today anyway. Which was a good thing, because the cat-caller was MB, and he was sitting in Casey's obnoxious orange pickup. So we had a little chat.

Then I walked by some elaborate, unexpected street art. (In...Spearfish. South Dakota.)

Back at the farm, the sky was storming as I re-loaded our car with luggage and belongings that had been in the house. The sun and clouds gave everything a peculiar kind of clarity and vibrance. I took a photo of this tree.

The wind was blasting all around, and during one of my trips to the car, I happened to catch something moving from the west. I stepped onto the porch and HOLY SHIT. A funnel cloud. Totally! A funnel cloud just west of our land! I took a picture of that, too. See:

I stood in the doorway for a while, out of the rain and hail that had begun to fall, waiting to run down into the basement, should the funnel start to make its way to the house. I couldn't tell that it was actually getting closer, though, and thankfully, it eventually dissipated. So did the hail, and most of the rain. So I finished my task, cleaned up the house, locked everything up, and left.

When I returned to Spearfish, it was time to re-pack the car For Real. MB had driven his GTO out to South Dakota with plans to leave the car with his brother for the next couple of years. (After we leave Monterey, we're going to have to move out to the East Coast for a year and a half, and it will be easier to find a place to live, etc, with two vehicles rather than three.) Anyways, so I had MB's stuff to add to all of my stuff. When he looked at the mess that the car had become, with STUFF practically bursting out through the cracks in the doors and the trunk, he claimed that it would be impossible to bring everything back to California. Obviously, I proved him wrong, and by the end of the project, we even had room in the backseat to spare. (Dude, I am a master at storage and organization - making things fit in general. A Master, I tell you. The movers from a couple years ago were shocked when they were able to view the amount of stuff they'd have to haul out of my studio apartment in Minnesota, a detail which I regard as a matter of pride.)

Kierra took responsibility for the bubble-wrap, while of this was taking place.

MB and Casey's dad came by. Casey grilled steaks and we all ate dinner. Then I had us take some photos. It was time to go. Much better to start the road trip on the next day leaving from Wyoming. Closer.

So we drove out to my parent's house in Wyoming for the night.

Road Trip 2011 Progress - Day 5: 133 miles

2 July

We started this day with waffles, coffee and eggs with my parents. They left for work, and MB and I got ourselves ready for a day of driving. Sometime after I'd locked and shut the door to the house, and before we'd entered the town proper, I realized that I'd left my engagement ring on the sink. (Something I've done repeatedly in the months, since, argh.) I'd been planning to drop by Mom's work to say "goodbye," so now the plan was to stop by, get her key, go back to the house, get my ring. MB decided to wash the car at a car wash nearby, and check/re-fill all the fluids, so I got the key from Mom and drove her little manual transmission to the house and back, while he did that. There's something about a manual T that makes me feel like I'm driving for Real.

When we finally got on the road, MB drove. We did a couple crossword puzzles all the way to Rawlins, WY. In Rawlins, I requested that we drop by Huckleberry Espresso, so I could get an iced latte. Just like last year. Afterword, I took over the chore of driving so MB could have a snooze. Just like last year again. I find that when you discover a plan that works for you, it's best to stick with it.

Since we would be going through Salt Lake City, I spoke with pal Jeff on Facebook, and we made plans to meet him for a drink, during a brief respite from driving. It was late afternoon by the time that we made our way to his house in SLC, but it was sweltering outside. I was totally jealous. (It's never sweltering in Monterey.) He took us to a brewpub downtown, and MB and I shared some smoked salmon and crostini, and some conversation with Jeff. Had a couple of drinks.

Might as well.

It was a nice stop, actually, and it was fun to talk to Jeff! Maybe next time his wife will actually be in town too.

Above, our view of the Great Salt Lake. MB was *not* tempted to stop. The sun was setting by the time we made it to the Salt Flats.

A little while later, we decided to crash in Elko, NV for the night. Found a motel via iPhone and made a reservation on the way. That's how we roll.

Wrote a blog post with updates about the wedding-planning progress. Talked about how we were going back to Cali.

Road Trip 2011 Progress - Day 6: 759 miles

3 July

In the morning, we sought breakfast at the cafe situated next door to the motel, Toki Ona. They had Basque offerings on the menu; so I looked up the town and discover that this area in Nevada is something of a Basque enclave. Elko hosts the National Basque Festival every July. Neat.

I wish I could remember more about the rest of the trip. I drove at least until we reached Reno, because I didn't want to deal with the Sacramento and San Jose areas. We did more crosswords and had lots of conversations. This road trip thing is old hat for us by now.

Road Trip 2011 Progress - Day 7: 605 miles

4 July

Independence Day was our first day back from traveling, and my first day of being home in almost a month. It was sunny and nice outside, so I decided to go for a run. Everything was swell. Down the hill, Montereyans were preparing the street for a 4th of July festival thing. I looked around happily.

Oh, and then I tripped over my own feet on the flat stretch of sidewalk, and skinned the shit out of my knees and shin. Frowny face. Grumbled and limped the mile back up the hill to our house and sulked for much of the afternoon. (Well, and proudly showed off my battle scars to MB.)

Wrote an exasperated blog post about how people on Facebook were requesting people the Thank The Troops on the 4th of July.

Monterey doesn't put on a fireworks show (from what I can tell), but MB and I did walk out on the deck that night to view some illegal fireworks that seemed to come from the direction of the neighboring park.

5 July

Recovering from traveling, unpacking, washing of clothes, tending to leg wounds.

6 July

I have no memory of this day, although according to my phone, I sent MB a text asking him to help me think of the word "grog."

Oh, this is the day that I wrote the post Expressing Unity With Impunity. Heh. I just went back and read it. At the time I thought I was being a total dork, but now I find the post kind of charming. (#ownbiggestfan)

7 July

On this day, I drove up to San Jose in search of wedding stuff. I went to Paper Source on Santana Row (a pedestrian-type open-air shopping mall) and stared at all the paper, thinking, for a million more years.

Then I actually bought some paper! Paper for our wedding invitations. Choosing paper is surprisingly labor-intensive. I set up shop on the big work table in the back, and walked back and forth from there to the shelves of colorful paper and envelopes, grabbing different shades and comparing them all. Bought a few stamps, too, and some paper ribbon.

After I'd finished at Paper Source, I bought an Iced Macchiato, and sat down to drink it. Watched some people playing Giant Chess. One of the players was absentmindedly strumming a ukelele, though he didn't appear to be a hipster.

Later that evening, the usual crew met down at the Britannia Arms for trivia. Everyone was sort of giddy to see each other again after the summer break. Alas, for some reason (that I can't remember), the pub was not hosting trivia that night, so we all just had a couple drinks and conversation. Then we took the party (Liz, Francois, Will, Paul, MJ, MB and myself) down the block to Lallapalooza. I had a hankering for a fruity martini.

We sat in the booth and had a funny conversation. MB walked everyone through his experience at the back doctor/holistic healing place. IDK, apparently he went there to have his back fixed by a chiropractor, but while he waited for the doctor, the doctor's wife, an older lady (maybe in her 60s?) had him sit in a massage chair while she whispered sweet nothings into his ears and tried to make him close his eyes. He was on his guard, though. Didn't want to be hypnotized. Which must have compromised his ability to relax.

It's times like these that MB needs to have a blog, or at least let me take video of him, because his version of the story was freaking hilarious. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Then Paul and MJ had to leave, which was unfortunate for them, because later on, I mentioned the time, about month before at L&F's house, when our friend Anree thought L&F's boarder Chris (who is Chinese American and in his early 20s) was "one of Will's Asian kids." (Will's wife is Japanese. Their elementary school-age children are half Japanese/Irish American.) Obviously, Will needed to hear the story. I think it was partly our mood, the excitement we had in getting back together after the break, the funny stories we'd already been telling, and of course the absurdity of Will being old enough to have a kid in his 20s, but something about that - just mentioning what Anree said - and everyone at the table was dying of laughter. Before, I'd had tears in my eyes. But this was screaming, slapping the table, can't-hardly-stand it-laughter. I blame Liz. She made me laugh even harder. So funny. Gosh, I can't remember the time before that when I laughed so hard. Why don't we get to laugh like that everyday?

8 July

On this day, I announced that I would be turning all the pretty paper I'd purchased into wedding invitations. Then I realized it would would take a lot of time to figure out the design for each, and how to word all the information. So I worked on that stuff, on my computer, for much of the day. I don't think I even cracked open the paper until the next day...

9 July

Poker night at our house!

Everyone was still jumping for joy about hanging out again, so they brought a ton of food. Whereas usually for a poker night we'll have chips and salsa and carrots and dip. I made chili, Will brought jalapeno poppers, Liz made an amazing and decadent macaroni and cheese, someone (can't remember) brought buffalo wings, and Paul brought his homemade salsa.

Poker shots!

Poker is serious stuff, y'all.

10 July

Reasons Why Sunday Was Such An Awesome Day
1. Kitchen Time
2. The US Women beat Brazil!
3. 50 And 50 - The State Mottos
4. This article about gender representation in literature.
5. I complained about "man" being used for things in women's soccer.
6. Had to remind myself what the hubbub about abortion in Freakonomics was all about.
7. Watched this terrific documentary on HBO: Hot Coffee. It's about tort reform.
8. Intellectual conversations with MB
9. New episode of True Blood!
10. Actually getting a blog entry published.

11 July

Somewhere in here, I finished putting together our wedding website. It had to be done before the invitations went out.

MB secured the reception deejay.

Also, my laptop stopped working while I continued the process of creating the wedding invitations.

12 July

MB fixed my computer. I wrote Back Online! Let's Play a song and celebrate!

It was around this time that my brideswomen and I were sending many emails back and forth about shoes.

13 July

Watched US/FRA game.

14 July

I have no idea what happened on this day, but I can say that it was Bastille Day!

15 July

Wedding Invitation Progress! Ceremony information cards with a hot pink, embossed stamp on each!

16 July

Continued my work with the stamping and embossing of invitations.

17 July

MB and I started out the day by watching the Women's World Cup Championship. I felt sad that the US lost, but I was happy for Japan. It was great to see a country that had experienced so much disaster in the last few months experience something wild and happy and hopeful.

During and after the game, I was tying the ribbons on the invites. The last step. A ribbon went on every one. Tied it on like a package ribbon, with the backside in criss-cross formation. Tedious work, but not as bad as I thought it would be when I started.

I wrote Modern Wedding Invitation Etiquette - a description of how I did the wording and addresses for the invitations.

18 July

Completed the invitations!

*choir of angels singing alleluia*

Printed the addresses for the invitations.

Went down to the post office to spend a million dollars in stamps. Stamped the invitations. Mailed the invitations.

*wiped brow*

19 July

AMANDA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING BESIDES WEDDING STUFF - My post, in which I talk more about wedding stuff. Hair salons, china and silverware, YouTube wedding music research, and how Stephenie Meyer writing about "Clair de Lune" was totally pedestrian.

20 July

As requested by a couple of friends, I created a guestbook to add to our wedding website. The people who ended up signing the guestbook (to this day!) were the two friends who made the request, plus my first-year college roomie Laura.

(Why weren't more people jazzed about my wedding website?! I created an awesome wedding website! CREATED, people! I didn't just use some other site's form.)

21 July

More discussion of shoes with the various brideswomen.

We have a new cable television service, and apparently I love watching The Joy Luck Club.

22 July

Wrote my story for the book my mother put together in honor of my Aunt Joyce and Uncle Jim's 50th wedding anniversary.

Sexy Friday night at home, alone. Actually I don't know if MB wasn't home. He wasn't in the room anyway. He might have been sleeping. We are exciting, I tell ya.

23 July

Made waffles with the waffle maker we'd received at my bridal shower!

Then we drove over to Jon and Amy's house for the Most Decadent Baby Shower Ever: Rebecca and Sean's Baby Shower.

Here are Rebecca and Sean, opening gifts:

Onesie Painting Contest. Matt at the Onesie Painting Station:

Expertly painted onesies by Amanda B:

MB and Tyler take a break from ping pong so Morgan can have a go.

Rebecca chose my onesie to be the winning onesie! (Personally, I think Amanda B had created superior onesies, but the Mommy-to-be made her choice, and fair's fair.) That's what I do, people. Win Onesie Painting Contests.

We played some cornhole. Jon and Amy are cornhole champs, but I improved, and MB and I managed to win a game or two.

Cupcake.

Here is a detailed post about the entire baby shower event (and the entire weekend, actually).

24 July

Checked out the Borders going-out-of-business sale.

Napped in the afternoon, watched a Harry Potter marathon. Watched HBO Sunday Night: True Blood, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Entourage.

25 July

Today I cleaned the kitchen, washed dishes, and made homemade cauliflower soup. I also updated the wedding registry, drank coffee, read blogs and listened to NPR.

Some friends and I had a conversation about SlutWalks. I'm a fan of them.

Here's one of the best things I've ever read about sex, gender and communication: Myth Communication: It's Not That They Don't Understand, They Just Don't Like The Answer. It's long, but illuminating, and worth the time.

26 July

Ordered tablecloths and napkins for the wedding reception.

Ordered the Flower Girl dress... As I've said before, I wasn't completely happy with the Flower Girl dress. The material looked like it was chiffon on the website, but in person, it looked more like...netting? (I don't know the name of that kind of material). And I was unhappy with myself for failing to remove the ribbon-belt. The problem was that every place I searched for a Flower Girl dress was either selling the standard/boring white dress with the puffy sleeves, or they were selling SUPER cute dresses - for two hundred dollars. I could not - could NOT - allow myself to buy a dress that required so little fabric, when compared to the brideswoman dresses, for that price. It really pissed me off. Weddings are a racket, and I didn't want to give in on this point. I would have liked to find a dress at a store, but I guess what I was aiming for was more of an Easter dress, and of course no one was selling Easter dresses anymore. So I had to buy something online that I couldn't see in person. And I sent it straight to her father's house, so I wasn't able to view it, and send it back before the wedding. THEN I felt like Kierra's parents were disappointed that Kierra didn't have this awesome dress. (Because they didn't say anything about the dress, which means they HATED it!) If I would have had a year to plan our wedding, I would have had more time to find the Flower Girl dress - a price and style that would have made everyone happy. (But then I would have had to plan a wedding for an entire year.)

27 July

We found an officiant.

I nailed down a hair salon.

I wrote: There is nothing wrong with you down there! About how vaginas are natural and good, and how douching is just so 70s. Commentary on the Summer's Eve Hand Vagina commercials, and Stephen Colbert's response. (And speculation about Colbert being a Feminist.)

28 July

I haven't provided any photos of the coast lately. Let me remedy that! Taken during my run, as usual.

29 July

Planning for Samantha's bachelorette party started again by this day. After sending out an inquiry last April as to how many ladies would like to party in Vegas, I sent a "NOW in Mpls!" email out to the guests. Samantha's party was set for October 15th. Yeah, we're planner-aheaders.

(It was trippy there for a while, with the duel wedding planning stuff happening. But also interesting and fun! Samantha and I had many opportunities to empathize with each other about wedding stuff.)

30 July

Finally wrote my HUGE post about my CSB 10-Year Reunion Weekend (that took place at the end of June).

31 July

Another run along the coast. This photo is supposed to capture the grey from Pacific Grove encroaching upon the blue in Monterey.

Also, there was a Turk Fest in the plaza that day. Delicious wafts of food, a band playing and a group of dancers.

***

Whew! And so ends July.

Nose Tampon 2: Return of the Nose Tampon

2011-12-09T23:59:00.000-08:00

We're just going to let the title explain my success thus far in beating the shit out of my cold. Although I shouldn't be too unfair to myself. I don't know if I am necessarily unsuccessful. I don't feel achey or congested and my throat doesn't hurt. But my effing nose has been running ALL DAY.

STOP, NOSE! (You jerk.)

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to implore ladies to stop lying about their handbags.

Ladies! Hey, LADIES! Yeah, you. Stop lying about your handbags!!! I know you have tissues and gum wrappers and maybe even melted chocolate and those packets of saltines that you get with your soup but you're not hungry enough to sprinkle them in there so you stash them in your purse just in case you feel hungry some time in the unforeseen future but then you completely forget they're in there until one day you pull out your Clinique lipstick with the missing cap (because duh it totally has a missing cap, quit lying) and you find saltine cracker crumbs all stuck up in it. Just because you are totally cool and get to write to on an awesome website and therefore and I am so freaking jealous of you it hurts, does not mean that you don't carry around trash your handbag just like the rest of humanity!

Okay, I am being somewhat jocular. The cool Hairpin ladies linked above actually have some realistic items happening in their handbags, some Real Life shit, yo. Not just a bunch of $500 wallets and designer makeup, like in the contrived "handbag contents" write-ups you see in women's fashion magazines that actually mask plugs for their mags' advertisers. It's just that when I read a couple of those entries in The Hairpin, I happened to be hauling around a handbag stuffed with tissues in varying states of used and un-used-ness.

Which is how we get from "my fucking nose won't stop RUNNING" to "NO TISSUES in your handbags you dirty liars?!!?"

I like things to be all neat and tidy in my handbag, but with running around and life being chaotic and whatnot, things being constantly removed and replaced, and one not necessarily being able to see all the way in there, the handbag can get messy.

(Whereas, if we were comparing automobile interior shots, people might scoff at the picture of my car's insides and go "Like you NEVER have any trash in your car, bitch!")

(I actually do keep my car quite clean. I hate messy cars. Trash in my car would be like having trash in my bed. You put your body in your car, you put your body in your bed. That's the line for me. The only part of my body that enters my handbag is my hand, and that's only momentarily.)

(Did you know that Alfred Hitchcock considered the handbag to be representative of the vagina, in Marnie? He was totes Freudian that way.)

(Freud was gross.) (So was Hitchcock, a little.)

Anyway, if I would have written this post two days ago, half of the frame of the photo above would have been filled with tissues. I can't believe there was actually still one left in there that managed to escape my wrath. As it is, today my handbag contains:

a used tissue (Yes, USED. Deal with it.)
a crumpled gum wrapper possibly containing chewed-up gum (I just don't litter, y'all. Where's the trash bin, anyway?)
ponytails holders (Or as I like to say, in the grand tradition of Samantha, "hair things.")
shopping/to-do list
Starbucks stirrer/plug-thing (Ya know, that thing you stick in the sippy hole of the plastic lid so the coffee doesn't spill? One of those things. For the next time I need to sneak my latte into a movie theater, in my purse.)
Buxom Big & Healthy Lipstick in "Barcelona" (a.k.a. Bright Ass RED - I prefer to wear it in low-light spaces.) (Ooh, also FYI, this Buxom stuff feels kind of fresh and minty on the lips, although one must be careful with the application. Bright red.)
two black pens (Only gel rollers, please.)
several bobby pins
hair snap barrettes
Clinique "Chocolate Bronze" lipstick, note the missing cap (Ahem.)
Garnier Nutritioniste Skin Renew Anti-Dark-Circle Roller (To discourage the families of bats that would like to take residence in the dark caves under my eyes, I've carried an under-eye concealer around with me since I was 16, at least.) (This stuff has caffeine, though I honestly have no clue as to the efficacy of that specific ingredient. It rolls on - and blends in with the finger - very smoothly over the skin. This is important, as I would like to avoid giving myself premature under-eye wrinkles by rubbing on the skin constantly.)
Victoria's Secret lip palette containing shades of Smooth Talk Creamy Lip Color and Mirror Mirror Shiny Lip Gloss, with lip brush (Acquired via bonus gift at VS.)
Target coupons (They came in the mail. Why the hell not, you know?)
Cover Girl pressed powder compact in "Classic Beige"
cute, shiny, metallic grey pocketbook from Urban Outfitters
Extra gum in "Polar Ice" flavor (The only kind I chew, baby.)
Starbucks cup sleeve (I re-use them a few times in order to feel less guilty about killing the environment. Also, in order to kill the environment more slowly. Should get an actual reusable sleeve one of these days.)
house keys and a giant safety pin (MB has my car key at home, as I am out-of-town at the moment. The safety pin is for running.)
Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush "Cherry Bomb" Lip Gloss (Another gift. The VS lip gloss is sticky, but I really like this one. It tastes like cherries and gives the lips a bit of subtle color.)

In Minnesota (er, a.k.a. when I had a job) my purse would also be used to carry around: a book, a journal, the day's NYT crossword, my iPod, earbuds, my bus pass, and a digital p/s camera. Much of this was for bus-riding entertainment, but I also liked to continue working on the crossword during lunch and breaks at work. I don't carry the camera around on the regular, because I can take photos with the iPhone. Also, the iPhone should be in the photo above, but I was using it to take the photo. So.

***

Sorry about implying that this post was going to be all about Nose Tampons.

Beating this cold into submission. (Also, a snippet about 'Twilight.')

2011-12-06T11:59:00.000-08:00

I woke up with a cold this morning. The gross sinusy drainage-kind of cold. I always get that cold. It's impossible to trace the source of this latest bit of nastiness, but after hearing people talk on the radio today about how disgusting public drinking fountains can be, I am regretting getting a sip of water at such a fountain when I was running on the recreational trail with MJ the other day. She always stops for water. She cannot understand why I never desire water. (I just don't like to break my stride when I have a goal in mind, or do something that makes my body need to urinate.)

Anyway, I am visiting my friend Rebecca in San Diego in a couple of days, and I don't want to get new bay-beh James sick, AND I want hold new bay-beh James, so I am taking this cold and walloping the shit out of it. I've consumed about a thousand cups of hot herbal tea, several Ricola and Halls lozenges, nasty-tasting zinc lozenges, and pseudoephedrine. Mmm, pseudoephedrine. All of these remedies/salves have had a positive effect on my body and my mood, so I am sharing them in the hope that they will bring happiness to others. When I first tried the Traditional Medicinals' Throat Coat, I gagged because it has/tastes like licorice. I do not like licorice. But it really does make the throat feel coated and smooth, so eventually I got used to the taste. It's all right. The Echinacea Plus has long been a favorite; I dump honey in mine. Finished off the tea-a-thon with my traditional night-time Sweet Dreams concoction of chamomile and mint.

I don't know if the zinc actually works, but I figured "What the hell."

All of this cold-killing action and planning made me feel energized. After I arrived home from the trip to the store to pick up the zinc and Halls, I spent some quality time in the kitchen listening to NPR, and cooking up a bunch of vegetables that did not have much longer to live. Chopped the remaining mushrooms, red and green bell peppers, an onion, and a couple slices of ham, and sauteed the lot of them. Put them in an egg bake with cheddar, which was our dinner. Chopped and cooked up some tomatoes, carrot and onion and made tomato soup out of that, for the freezer. Cleaned up all the dishes and then cleaned the kitchen. Since MB was standing in the kitchen talking to me for much of the time, he threw down some counter wipes and stubborn pan scrubs.

Some days are like that - some days we have so many things to talk about. We discussed his school projects, our plans for Christmas presents, our honeymoon plans. Furniture we need to throw out/purchase. It was nice. Sometimes we hardly have much conversation beyond what each person did that day, and then a retreat into our respective haunts. Those days are nice, too. Though they usually correlate with whatever sports games are happening on TV.

Though I was dismayed to hear from MB that there will be a NBA season after-all. Argh.

After dinner (Jeopardy!) and cleaning, we settled in the livingroom. I haven't posted a photo of our Christmas tree this year yet, but FYI: we have a Christmas tree. So, you can imagine that in the livingroom. Also, MB built a fire in the fireplace. So that was there too. I worked on our wedding Thank Yous and there was a little bit of TV. Originally, the wedding Thank Yous had to wait until we'd received gifts from people (many packages in the mail, since we live far away from basically everyone who was at our wedding). Then they had to wait until I received the photobooth photos. Then they had to wait because I was procrastinating. Finally, now that work on the Thank Yous has commenced, they are requiring a lot of time and attention....due to each thank you card being an original creation. Sort of. Many of them are unique. It's because I'm making them out of the printing scraps/extras leftover from the wedding invitations. But they will look good! I'll even post a photo on the blog when I'm done to prove it. When he first viewed this project the other day, MB seemed to express regret that no one would know that their Thank You was different from every other Thank You, so just to clear that up, I will scan all the designs and post them as a collage. Because I love you/doing everything in the hardest way possible.

So that was today. Here's the thing about Twilight! (via Feministe, via Reddit) (WARNING: Breaking Dawn spoiler.) The whole Reddit comment provides a thought-provoking analysis of Bella Swan vs. Bella Cullen (for those are aren't completely sick of Twilight analyses), and is worth reading, but this is the part that struck me (edited for impatience):

I'll refer to the vampire as Bella Cullen, the human as Bella Swan.
Bella Swan was clumsy.
Bella Cullen is the most graceful of all the vampires.
Bella Swan was physically weak and frequently needed protection.
Bella Cullen is among the strongest and most warlike of the vampires, standing essentially on her own against a clan that has ruled the world for centuries.
Bella Swan was empathetic to the needs of others before she met Edward.
...
Bella Swan was fairly modest and earnest.
...
In short, her entire identity - everything that made her who she was - has been erased.
This is powerfully underscored on p. 506, when Charlie Swan (remember, the conscience of the story) sees his own daughter for the first time after her transformation:
"Charlie's blank expression told me how off my voice was. His eyes zeroed in on me and widened.Shock. Disbelief. Pain. Loss. Fear. Anger. Suspicion. More pain."He goes through the entire grieving process right there - because at that moment, he recognizes what so many readers don't - Bella Swan is dead.

It's annoying when it takes other people to come along and say things that I think should have been so obvious to me. The characterization of Bella Swan as dead resonates for me, because by the end of Breaking Dawn, author Meyer describes Bella as stunningly gorgeous, strong, consistently sexually satisfied (hail the powerful vampire clitoris!), truly in love with an equally perfect male vampire, never tempted by human blood or tormented about possibly being a demon or lacking a soul, and possessing a strange psychic shield that prevents anyone from hurting any of her vamps. And she will always be those things.

"Forever and forever and forever," he murmured.
"That sounds like exactly right to me."
And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.
- Breaking Dawn, last words

Right, so they are beautiful, in love, always 18/17 years old (personally, I was more attractive as a 30-year old, but I guess that was without the vampire magic), RICH!, and they will go on like this forever. FOREVER. Which to me, is an almost poetic and nostalgic way of describing death - for the people who are left behind. Because death is when you stop. Death is when you no longer grow or change or learn. Death, after the fact, is fucking boring. (Before the fact, yes, it's terrifying, so I can see the appeal of immortality and all. But still.)

A neat little package tied with a pretty bow of a Happy Ending, and THEY DIDN'T EVEN BATTLE THE VOLTURI. (Grrrrrrr!)

Anyway, the Reddit commenter's analysis focuses more on the domestic abuse and how Bella loses her identity/"dies." But I couldn't help but think about it in terms of Happy Endings and how happiness in life doesn't necessarily mean constant perfection.

Wedding Ceremony Photos Redux

2011-12-04T02:15:00.000-08:00

One of the photographers (a.k.a. my brother) sent me the official wedding photos this week! Yay! So since I can't make myself write anything at the moment, here's a little pretty pretty.

Photography by Justin Mitchell and Summer Venner

7 Dumb Things About 'Love, Actually'

2011-11-30T18:31:00.000-08:00

Source: google.com via Amanda on Pinterest

I know. How can I imply that there's anything less than delightful about the hit holiday film of 2003, right?! Colin Firth as an adorable writer falling in love with his even adorabler Portuguese housekeeper? Hugh Grant as the Most Adorable Prime Minister of Unlikelyland? The Most Adorable Little Boy IN THE WORLD falling in love and chasing The Most Adorable Little Soul Singer Ever in the airport?! The Most Adorable Naked Body Doubles in the history of cinema? Bill Nighy's craggy old rock star, who is by the way, adorable? EMMA THOMPSON?! ALAN RICKMAN?! This anglophile must be off her rocker.

For the record, I very much like - nay, Great Enjoy! - Love, Actually.

But there are things that sort of piss me off about this movie.

1. Billy Bob Thornton as the US President. BILLY BOB THORNTON! *hiss*

Loathe.

In fact, the Billy Bob Thornton Factor pretty much overrides absolutely anything anyone can say about the excellence of any film in which he stars. If it contains Billy Bob Thornton, I will not see it. Not even on HBO. Not even on ANY television channel. The only reason I wound up seeing Love, Actually in the theater despite the presence of Billy Bob Thornton is because I was tricked by the previews and the irresistible Britishness of the film into thinking that this film did not contain Billy Bob Thornton. Tricked, I tell you!

2. The US President is a scoundrel who sexually harasses the pretty aide to the Prime Minister.

There's a valid point to be made about sexual harassment by men in power, and specifically, President Clinton, but I don't particularly prefer to take my medicine when I'm watching adorable British rom-coms.

3. The British filmmakers took the opportunity to grandstand via Prime Minister Hugh Grant about how pissed they are about the government of the US attempting to dictate foreign policy to the UK.

Overall, Americans don't come off well in this picture.

4. As an American, I have to say that I would SO (probably) NOT sleep with some jerk just because he has an English accent.

5. As a Minnesotan, I am betrayed and outraged by the fact that you sent your British dude to Wisconsin. Wisconsin!!!

Aside from problems with the film itself....

Source: google.com via Amanda on Pinterest

6. It took six years for the US to finally jump on the "holiday + rom com + ensemble cast = CAN'T LOSE!" formula, but it finally happened with the tepid pile of contriv-ed-ness that is Valentine's Day.

Ashton Kutcher. Taylor Swift.

*shudder*

7. And now for the latest Satanic Baby which Love, Actually hast wrought:

Source: google.com via Amanda on Pinterest

(Can't you people think of a new idea for a poster?!)

Scanning poster, scanning POSTER...whatthefuck!

The Hunger Games! The Trilogy! I read them!

2011-11-29T23:29:00.000-08:00

No spoilers, fo shizzle.

Source: google.com via Amanda on Pinterest

Now that's a title that contains most-of-what-I-can-think-of-to-say-in-this-post.

Anyway, I've been hunkering for a thick, juicy set of literature in which to sink my brain-teeth. And chew with my brain-tongue. And swallow with my brain-throat.

(Okay, okay! The metaphor has continued long enough.)

As usual, The Hunger Games is one of those Hot New Pop Culture Things that everybody knows about for like three years before I catch on. I hear references to the Hot New Thing here and there, everywhere. I ignore the references, because the book covers look pulp fictiony and I've never heard of Suzanne Collins and the writers and news blogs I read everyday don't devote any posts the the Hot New Thing. Until one day, I've finally heard the magical number of references that makes my brain think "Just what the hell is UP with this Hot New Thing, anyway?!" It happened with Twilight, and finally, it happened with The Hunger Games.

For those of you who are slightly less with it than me and thus haven't read them yet:

1. Neener!
2. Here's a synopsis of the plot. From Amazon (because I'm too lazy to write one myself):

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. Long ago the districts waged war on the Capitol and were defeated. As part of the surrender terms, each district agreed to send one boy and one girl to appear in an annual televised event called, "The Hunger Games," a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. The terrain, rules, and level of audience participation may change but one thing is constant: kill or be killed.

3. If you are feeling skeptical because it's a Young Adult series, then allow me to counter with this and this. And this. And her. And this, and this, and this!
4. If you are feeling skeptical because it sounds fantasy/science fictiony, then allow me to counter with "DUDE, Fantasy/Science Fiction RULES!" Also, "Your mom."
5. Also, it's not THAT science fictiony. Really!
6. So buy the books (if you can't wait until your name comes up on the waiting list at your local library), and read 'em!
7. FYI, you won't be able to put them down. Which works out, as far as getting-back-to-your-life is concerned, because you can literally read each these in about 12 hours. (I did.)
8. Then you and me can see the film version (gah!) on March 23! (It's a date.)

The casting for this film, by the way, based on the characters in the books, looks PERFECT. I'm excited.