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22 July 2014

Cleo and Ocean Beach (Last Night Is Right Now)

After yesterday's post, I feel a bit Feministed out. Liberaled out. What have you. It wasn't a good representation of what's usually on the 20 million browser tabs, although it is a good representation of stuff I read everyday, in case anyone is curious as to why I am at the ready with disgruntledness whenever those topics are brought up in conversation. ...I love how I've been learning and reading about Feminist theory since I was 20, but when I argue with people who've studied NOTHING about it and who continually read NOTHING about it, we are supposedly on equal ground.

(Blah, tangent! STOP Amanda!)

ANYWAY. I am not typing this today. I am typing this yesterday. Last night (is right now). I have taken a break from the packing. The inevitable break where I can't do packing things with my brain or my feet anymore, and I just need to lay in bed and make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow on my phone, and get up an hour early. But first I am whipping up a post to publish tomorrow while we are traveling. I'm relaxing at the desk in the living room and listening to music and drinking a little red wine, staving off traveling anxiety, and calming the Feminist fury in my soul that I whipped up with that last post. (I mean, damn.)

We are flying to South Dakota, and then traveling on to Oregon. I'll write about it later. (HAHA sure I will.)

After SO arrived home from work in the evening, we took Cleo, and all her cat supplies, to the home of one of his coworkers. I couldn't stand the thought of putting her in a kennel while we are away, where they keep her in a cage for part of the time. This is the first night since we adopted her that she's spent away from me. I feel sad, because she's a cat, and so she doesn't know that I will only be gone for two weeks, and then I will come and get her, and she will go back to the home and people that she knows and loves. She's a sweet, innocent little baby, who's never known loneliness or indifference. She just wants love! And pets!

I miss her tonight!

Sweet little baby!

#nomakeupselfie

Haha. OK it's not a selfie. But, no makeup! Empowermentz!

Sleeping kitty. Again.

Look at this fucking cat! Sleeping in the mess I made on the guest bed. She's such a little sweetheart. My kitty!

Anyway, as indicated by the title of this post, I'm just going to share a few pics of Cleo and Ocean Beach. And a couple more, because the world needs to be treated to the following photo of MB's SICK arm muscles.

MB should look happier about this trophy. #latercamera+
Our team won a trivia trophy on Thursday night, and MB has a funny way of looking happy about it.

Just look at those fuckers! Whatthefuckskles. Tonight I showed him the photo. "Yeah I've been working out a lot lately, bro."
"Pffft."

He has not "been working out." People with his job in the Navy do not work out. They do not have free time TO DO ANYTHING. (That's just a slight exaggeration.) He's just gifted, or whatever. Way to DO NOTHING and be muscular, anyway, MB! Must be nice.

Here's a meal below, directly related to the re-airing of the Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives episode featuring OB Noodles, on Friday night. Even though we've been there before, we needed to eat at OB Noodles for lunch on Saturday.

Another delicious meal at OB Noodles!

Here are some OB palm trees:

OB Palm Trees

OB Palm Trees

OB Palm Trees

Here is my adorable cat.

My precious Cleo.

Here's a hand-shaped tan that I wouldn't care to have on my ass.

July 4th beach scenes.
No Surf Beach on the 4th of July. That hand stayed there for an awfully long time.

Here's an avocado garnished with soy sauce and olive oil, lemon juice and black pepper. (And a few drops of Sriracha later on.) Yummy!

avocado + olive oil + soy sauce + lemon juice + black pepper #itsgood

NEW COUCH BELOW! Best napping couch ever, actually. (Yeah, we own a cat, and we bought a leather couch. We're dumb.)

New couch!
MB mercifully toning it down on the muscle-front in this pic.

This is the day I constructed the cat tower for Cleo.

Cleo discovers the cat tower I am building.

A shot of OB fishing pier, taken near the end of hot, miserable, tired run. (Still not back on my A-game with running, but still running at least.)

Another day in Ocean Beach.

This is Rodrigo and Philomena, with Cleo.

In good company. #catsofinstagram

...And now I ought to sleep for at least a couple hours.

Hope you're well tonight, my sweet baby kitty! I totally won't harass your cat sitter via text regarding your well-being more than once a day!

Sad Selfies with Cleo
Sad Selfies with Cleo, on the way to the cat sitter's. (She's not the hugest fan of car rides.)

21 July 2014

Pages on Browsers and on the Tabs of Browsers: 21 July 14 Edition

Here is a list of the websites featured on the 20 million browers/tabs currently open on my desktop. This is partially in lieu of a real post - that I "don't have time" to write. This is the day before SO and I leave on vacation and technically I am supposed to be cleaning and packing right now, but got distracted by the Internet and editing an iTunes playlist while drinking my coffee. But also I've occasionally felt tempted to make a post out of "what's on my desktop?!" It's like a Buzzfeed quiz that actually indicates something real about the quiz-taker (in this case, a flaming fucking Liberal and Feminist who enjoys, in addition to sharing outrage, handbags and music! And who is a bit of a procrastinator). "What do your open browser tabs say about you???"

"Which browser tab ARE you??"

These pages all make sense, as far as who I am, but I think the list today is more unbalanced than usual. But then, I've been more upset about stuff going on the world than usual. (Yes, even more than normal.) (Specifically, all the anti-woman decisions recently released by the Supreme Court, which just exacerbate the sexist crap delivered by the world on a daily basis, and also the immigration "crisis" currently happening with children on the border, and ALSO gun nuttery in general.) Usually, the stuff I leave open is something I want to pin (fashion, decor, recipes), something related to an argument I had recently (sexist crap), something I might want to write about (sexist crap), something I want to tweet or post to Facebook (self-righteous indignation), Wikipedia (Wikipedia is strangely missing today, but I can tell you the last W page I had open was a Weird Al bio), whatever unfinished blog post is currently not being finished, and things I want to buy.

Anyway, today:

     Feedly - In retrospect it was silly of me to lament the demise of Google Reader. This is exactly the same thing. Life is good.

     Alien Contact: A Comic On Gender Roles - It's a comic. At The Robinhead.

     Science Confirms It’s Pretty Much Impossible For Women To Avoid Being Judged On Their Sexuality - This is what I've said. It's impossible for a person to "objectify themselves."

     Some Bible verses for the Good Christians® angry that migrant kids might sleep in a bed - Yes, there are Americans arguing that migrant children being detained by our government do not deserve to sleep in beds. Good for them. Go liberty!

     A Playlist of All the Music We've Posted in 2014 So Far - Good stuff from The Hairpin. I adore other people who do the hard work of finding music for me.

     Memeopolis drafted post "More Like YesCal." Maybe one day I will finish this post FROM MAY. (ALL IT IS, IS A PHOTO ESSAY. JUST FINISH IT, AMANDA. DAMMIT.)

     My PDX/NoCal: May 2014 album in Flickr. Corresponding to the aforementioned unpublished post.

     Punching Gloria Steinem: inside the bizarre world of anti-feminist women - By Jessica Valenti at The Guardian. Lolwhut Moment from the piece:
The Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, for example, had a campaign to "bring back the hope chest", and published a short booklet for college women called Sense and Sexuality, which doles out advice – in pink cursive writing – like this: "The rectum is an exit, not an entrance." (As you can imagine, neither of these campaigns went viral.)
     Knock Knock It Off - A Dear Prudence column about a husband who won't stop making crude jokes in front of his wife. The consensus at the end of the piece is that the husband's behavior is a form of bullying. (I don't know why this tab is still open. I must have been fooling around on Slate in general.)

     A YouTube page featuring Alvvays videos. I have a new theory that people who are in bands just naturally look like people in bands. Like, if I looked like I was in a band, I would be in a band. Anywho, Alvvays was on Q the other night, and the lead singer was all "Maybe I can stop scrubbing toilets for a living now," and I saw her online and was thinking "Well obviously you are in a band."


     Facebook - (Duh.)

     Flickr page featuring a photo of Tiburon, CA. Corresponding to the aforementioned unpublished Memeopolis post.

     Debunking 8 Myths About Why Central American Children Are Migrating - Instinctively I want to blame citizens for being ignorant about the role that their government has played in causing violence and poverty in other nations, but doesn't most of the credit go to the abysmal, short-sighted, easily-manipulated, "liberal" (HAHAHA) media? WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE KNOW THIS SHIT? Or do people just automatically reject the less savory facts about our international trade and foreign policies? Personally, when I hear about something shitty my country did, I think "I want to change that horrible thing," not "NO no no no lalalalalalallala AMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM!!!!!"

     The Politics of Housework - A hilarious-because-it's-true essay by Pat Mainardi from 1970 about the ways equality-minded men attempt to get out of housework. It could have been written today, which is ridiculous, because like I said: 1970. That was 44 years ago.

In my relationship, I am in charge of the house stuff, because I am not working "outside the home." But that doesn't mean I follow SO around cleaning up his messes. Because that would be degrading. And it doesn't mean there aren't some chores that belong to him. There are. (Partially because when I do work again - or if I have a baby - I don't want to be trapped in the "ALL the housework" role thanks to habit. ...This man is too normalized as it is, to the idea of someone preparing and serving him meals nearly every night. That should be a weirder thing for him. It would be weird for me.) So while I can't write about this topic from the perspective of "we both have jobs outside the home so it's not fair if I do more cleaning," I've still heard almost all the excuses that Mainardi lists (FROM 1970!). (Dubious) favorites: "but you're so much better at this!" excuse. Oh god, and also the "but where is the [cleaning product/utensil or cooking item]?!" (YOU NEED TO BE INVOLVED IN EVERY PART OF ME DOING THIS CLEANING OR COOKING THING. MIGHT AS WELL HAVE JUST DONE IT YOURSELF.)

ARGH.

     A Flickr page featuring the haircut I got in June 2008. - I was thinking about cutting my hair.

     A Flickr page featuring Cleo laying on a motel bed in San Raphael, CA. - (AFOREMENTIONED POST.)

     Why the Suspected Texas Shooter's Domestic-Violence History Didn't Keep Him From Owning Guns - (TW: sad) Factoid from the article: "This patchwork of weak laws endangers women, the data shows: Their chances of being killed by their abusers increase more than seven times if he has access to a gun."

     Cotton + Leather Clutch Purse DIY - These are cute. Maybe I will make one.

     Opting for Free Time - This is a lengthy article meditating on housework, childcare, "work-life balance," gender roles," motherhood, and the socioeconomics of it all, but when I opened it up I was thinking about my theory that there are more women winners on Jeopardy! in recent years because women delay motherhood.

     Five Ways to Ensure Scientifically Accurate Reporting on Reproductive Rights - Highlights: Birth control is not abortion! Non-procreative sex is normal and healthy and everyone deserves to do it without punishment! Abortion is a common, legal medical procedure (and everyone should get the fuck over the stigma of it)! < Okay that last part is my addition.

     Confessions of a Selfie Addict - "Stop Sneering At Selfies. They're Way More Fun Than Your Lame Sunset Pics." It's nice that Simon Doonan is defending selfies, but really the majority of the sneering is toward "frivolous, vain" women and girls who take selfies. God forbid a female should consider herself photo-worthy! A person takes a photo of you = okay. You take a photo of you = Narcissist! So dumb.

...You know what a narcissist is from a psychological viewpoint? Someone who doesn't consider the needs of people-who-aren't-them to be relevant, especially if they conflict with their wants/needs and/or inconvenience them in any way. (RELEVANT. Think about that word.) They can be fun acquaintances, but trying to make them into something more will inevitably lead to hurt. (Other people being hurt. Because they can't be hurt. Narcissism is sociopathic. If a person gets hurt, then that person was extraneous, and ultimately undeserving of their company anyway.)

Selfie with sweaty hair.But the first, and probably most common definition of narcissism, however, is "excessive vanity." And who determines what is excessive? It seems to me that there is enough human pain in the world, that is based around what our faces and bodies look like. More people loving what they look like - feeling happiness about their appearance, and thus deeming it selfie-acceptable - can only be a good thing.

< This is a "my hair is disgusting and sweaty after running, check it out!" selfie.

As a post-script, I disagree that sunset pics are lame.
   

     Loaded Gun Found In South Carolina Wal-Mart Bathroom - But I'm sure he's a "responsible gun owner."

     How Our Brains Turn Women Into Objects - From Scientific American. Basically objectification doesn't make women non-human, just sub-human. What a relief!

     Study: Proof That We Sexually Objectify Women - From The Atlantic. Apparently I was researching sexual objectification.

     42 - This was one of my favorite responses to that garbage Esquire article about 'how if 42-year old actresses who still look 30 are fuckable, then men should pat themselves on the back for thinking so.' (Quote from "42:" "Is 42 years how long it takes for the female brain to develop, and then, there’s like, this sweet spot where a woman has brains and a body?") When I ranted to SO that the problem with the kind of article exemplified by the Esquire piece is that it likens women to steaks ("...who've gotten tastier with age, Pilates and feminism" - from another terrific piece), he assured me that I look way younger than my age. (Whoa missing the point, SO. Although it's nice that you think I'm pretty.) I don't mean to call out poor SO specifically; I just think that men really don't fucking get how this shit is dehumanizing. And being de-humaned is NOT A FUN THING TO FEEL. They don't fucking get it! Or they do, some of them, and are gleeful about it, so you know, fuck those guys.

     And finally, the last browser was open to a pretty camera bag that I really, really want, but alas do not exactly "need." It's on the list below travel, furniture, and paying off debt...

So yeah, those are the pages on browsers and on the tabs of browsers on the 21st of July, 2014.

Anyway. I should get back to that "cleaning and packing" business. Ahem.

09 July 2014

The Damage of Men as the Default

It's incredible to me that people can be so thick.
Only one thing mars my enjoyment of watching the World Cup, and it's the absence of one small word. Just a tiny qualifier in a statistic that really should be corrected as our men's team continues to gain respect internationally. So I ask the American commentators, please stop announcing that Landon Donovan is the "all-time U.S. leading goal scorer." He is not. With 57 international goals, he's not even in the Top Five.

The all-time U.S. leading goal scorer is Abby Wambach, with 167 goals, followed by Mia Hamm (158), Kristine Lilly (130), Michelle Akers (105) and Tiffeny Milbrett (100). In fact, Abby Wambach is the all-time leading goal scorer in the world, among all soccer players, male or female.
The article uses the lazy, sexist coverage of soccer stats as a base to call for fairness in labeling.
The issue of establishing women's achievements as "women's" but allowing the male position to be the assumed baseline goes far beyond sports. When Sonia Sotomayor was being confirmed for the Supreme Court, members of Congress repeatedly asked her (repeatedly) if, as a Latina, she would be able to remain neutral. I don't recall ever in the history of confirmation hearings, anyone asking, "As a white male, do you think you'll be able to remain neutral when deciding issues of law?" Given some recent decisions, maybe they should have!

We have to stop assuming that the male position is objective, unbiased, nonpartisan, with no need to be qualified as male. All one has to do is notice that the (mostly) rich, white men in charge have done nothing to punish the (entirely) rich, white men who crashed our economy — and in fact, took steps to ensure that their financial advantages be maintained — to see that men are anything but objective when it comes to assessing the achievements and crimes of other men, who happen to look exactly like them.
Maybe if more journalism focused on labeling the rich, white men in charge who have done nothing to punish the rich, white men who crashed the economy as "rich, white, men," maybe a whole lot more people would feel pissed off about that. Maybe a whole lot more people would try to hold them accountable, or wrest power from them, into more responsible, empathetic hands. Then again, mainstream journalism is also run by rich, white men, so I supposed I will continue to only read these articles calling for change on sites like Jezebel.

Anyway, is there a better a demonstration of the belief that "male" is the default and "female" needs to clarified, than the way we qualify a group of women doing a thing by labeling "women's [thing]" whereas a group of men doing the same thing is just "[thing]?"

At the risk of being accused that suggesting a group of men be labeled "men's" is mere quibbling, I offer the recent birth control coverage controversy. If the male position is default, then women's healthcare is niche, and men shouldn't be expected to pay for it. Strangely, nobody EVER argues that women shouldn't be paying for men's healthcare.

Because men are people, and women are women.

Next time you're talking about a group of people, try to notice if all the people you call "people" are actually just a bunch white men. Are they? If the people were all black, would you clarify the color of their skin? If they were all women, would you make sure everyone knew it? Then try to think about why that is.

What's that? You're a white male* and you think this post is bullshit? Must be a total coincidence that something that argues for less power for white men is something you disagree with. SO weird.



*white men who don't think this post is bullshit: xoxo!